Listen up, people. An epidemic is sweeping the nation and it’s using the word “adult” as a verb. As in, “adulting is hard,” “I cannot adult today” or, “I’ll adult later.”
Please review exhibits A-E:
This is surely the language of the era that precedes the apocalypse. Those are all from BuzzFeed, by the way, but I do not blame BuzzFeed, because BuzzFeed exists to give the people what they want. This one’s on us. And if we do not put an immediate stop to it, we will meet our certain, premature demise.
Here’s a gif that shouldn’t exist:
Cancel this gif or I’m calling my lawyer.
You know why doing things like paying bills, doing laundry and cleaning your home should not be optional? BECAUSE THEN YOU’D BE A LITERAL BABY!!! This is called being alive.
Here are some reasons we should kill the word adulting post-haste:
Reason #1: It’s grammatically incorrect
You won’t be able to see this, but I cannot type the world “adulting” without red squiggly lines appearing. That’s because “ADULT” IS NOT A VERB. You cannot “adult,” just as you cannot “pekingese.”
Reason #2: It infantilizes you
When you complain about adulting, I assume that alarms confuse you, you’ve never heard of a budget and you’d prefer to be spoon-fed by your mother before being rocked to sleep. All of which sounds like a pleasure, but none of which flies when you’re over seven.
Reason #3: The government will come after you
Reason #4: It feeds an unproductive lie
Childhood is “hard” when you’re a child because you don’t know anything different. This is just how life works: It always feels hard because you don’t get to go backwards and do things you already know how to do. Also, being an adult can be just as fun as being a kid.
Reason #5: It’s generally terrible and unfunny
Not sure how to be more clear than that.
That’s it! that’s the whole thing! Please. For the sake of humanity’s survival, which I believe in my heart is predicated on us not becoming adult-sized babies a la the motorized blobs in Wall-E, no more using the world “adulting.”
P.S. Feel free to add in other banned words in the comments.
Photo & GIF by Louisiana Mei Gelpi.