“Diet Avocados” Might Be a Thing Now

Collage by Louisiana Mei Gelpi

If there’s one thing I’ve always said, it’s that avocados need to be less fat. Rather than pen letters to my local congresspeople about laws I disagree with or write angry comments on my favorite celebrities’ ex-boyfriends’ Instagrams, I prefer to spend my free time filing complaint after complaint to scientists about avocados. It’s so nice to see that someone finally listened.

GrubStreet reports: “A fruit company over in Spain has invented an actual diet avocado — all the Instagrammability, only 30 percent of the fat.”

About time. Ice cream figured this out like a week ago?

Here’s what we (thanks to GrubStreet writer Clint Rainey) know about it:

+ It is made by Eurobanan’s Isla Bonita brand.
+ Its flavor is described as “mild,” its pulp “juicier.”
+ It ripens fast while oxidizing more slowly than that of the standard avocado. Per GrubStreet, food experts who tagged the news, “Advancements in Fruits,” this means it could “theoretically outlast a full-fat conventional avocado.”
+ Spanish heart-health advocates tested the fruit’s nutritional claims, and they’ve affixed a seal certifying that it does legitimately have almost one-third less fat.
+ It grows nearly year-round
+ Its official launch is later this month at a trade show in Madrid.
+ Eurobanan “only plans on selling it to Spaniards for the time being.”

I’ll gladly wait. We haven’t had a diet food this great since the 80s, and I never trusted that whole “good fats” movement anyway. Reminds me of the time a girl in my first grade class told me that dandruff was “the good kind” of lice.

Maybe this means big things for other foods that taste better on toast: salmon, peanut butter, almond butter, cashew nut butter, hazelnut butter, sunflower, butter, apple butter, actual butter — all kinds of butter, really, eggs, greek yogurt, olive oil, coconut (coconut really needs to get a grip), cheese.

Here’s hoping. I am just so sick of using Facetune on my avocado toast to make it look skinnier.

Amelia Diamond

Amelia Diamond

Amelia Diamond is a writer, creative consultant, and Man Repeller alumnus living in New York City.

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