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15 Haikus About Laughably Mediocre Sex

There are few human experiences more liable to be either incredible or awful than sex between two adults who really just want it to work out. It’s the perfect storm, if you think about it: vulnerability, expectation and so much effort. When it goes wrong, it can be hilarious, horrifying or a little bit of both. But everything is copy, right? Or in this case, poetry.

Above, culled from the friends of team MR, are 15 haikus about sex — the kind that, despite its best efforts, will go down in history as straight-up bad. Click through, laugh, cringe, cry and add your own, if you have one. If you’re still haiku-hungry by the end, then sally forth and explore our poems about virginitypubertyboobs and first kisses.

Quotes designed by Emily Zirimis.

Haley Nahman

Haley Nahman

Haley Nahman is the Features Director at Man Repeller.

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