The Best White Jeans Are On Sale and In My Shopping Cart

I am an avid window shopper, except I do it online. I suppose we need an updated terminology for “window shopping” in the digital age. How about: “I have way too many shopping tabs open on Google Chrome and it’s making my entire laptop feel like the equator”?

The best thing about window shopping in July is that almost every single thing is on sale, thus increasing the potential for window shopping to blip over into the realm of ~regular~ shopping — a.k.a. the kind of shopping wherein the clothes in question actually end up in my closet.

Given these odds, I am allowing myself to fantasize about how I would piece together the various things currently languishing in my Google Chrome tabs, turning them from two-dimensional photographs to three-dimensional outfits.

I’m eager to pair this deeply discounted Sies Marjan top with an Adam Lippes pale green, metallic, pleated skirt I’ve eyed for months as it’s gradually gone down in price. I’d cherry-on-top the whole shebang with a pair of cranberry-red velvet gladiator sandals (30% off!) and earrings adorned with an extra set of eyeballs, because eyes in the lobes of your ears are the new eyes in the back of your head. They’re also 30% off, by the way.

Wide-leg white jeans from Vince are the hero of outfit #2, because first of all I’ve been scouring the internet for a pair just like this (wide leg, sits at hip, relaxed fit, not cropped) and second of all they’re on saleeeeeeeee. I’d wear them with a silky pink blouse, a Hawaiian shirt moonlighting as shower shoes and the coolest bucket bag since sliced bread from Creatures of Comfort. Have I mentioned all of this stuff is on sale? Cool.

Oh man. This Prada dress. It’s so very, very good. Even 30% off, it’s still out of my price range, but rest assured I am going to keep watching it until summer’s dying breath. I have a hunch it’s going to get reduced further. We shall see. Meanwhile, I haven’t wasted time dreaming of its union with a pair of rose gold, red and orange metallic leather sandals and a Miu Miu necklace with beads that remind me of the ones we keep in huge jars in the Man Repeller conference rooms. Pure, rainbow-sprinkled happiness.

Harling Ross

Harling is a writer and was most recently the Brand Director at Man Repeller.

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