Not to brag, but…I’m really good at gift-giving.
People come to me to ask for advice on everything from what to get their mom for her birthday to what kind of housewarming present would benefit a 27-year-old bachelor in his newly warmed pad. I have, as they say, a “rep” for being a reliable source for original ideas. I think it might have something to do with the fact that part of my job involves being a literal internet shopping sleuth, but who can say?
The holidays present somewhat of a challenge, though — not for lack of cool gift options but rather lack of sufficient Bitcoins to buy something for every single person of my list of all the humans in my life who deserve a material signifier of my affection during this most wonderful time of year.
BUT GUESS, WHAT DIAMOND BUTTS? I’m great under pressure, which is why I’ve put together a lil somethin’ somethin’ I’ve affectionately dubbed the Man Repeller Holiday Gift Guide’s Slightly More Affordable Cousin. Behold: a smattering of really great gift ideas for all your friends and family and lovers, broken out in price tiers because I’m in a festive mood:
$75 and under
Welcome to the most expensive category, also known as gift ideas for the people you love most. JUST KIDDING! MONEY DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE. I know this to be true because a hug is such a good present, especially if you squeeze like you mean it. But anyways, back to the stuff:
Might I recommend a rainbow sweater for literally anyone on your list? I personally possess three of varying silhouettes and I’m hungry for more. I’m also hungry for another bra from Lonely Lingerie because I got this black one a few months ago and it’s so pretty I want to frame it but I wear it frequently instead. I’m not the type of person to invest in bras — almost all of mine were purchased at TJ Maxx in eighth grade and I still wear the same ones to this day — but I think it’s worth having ONE nice underpinning, don’t you? Ditto for this Man Repeller x Monogram t-shirt ,which is the softest t-shirt alive and a great gift for anyone who likes to wear things that make you think and smile at the same time. Speaking of thinking and smiling, our very own Edith Young makes these super cool “painterly Pantone” posters that will make your gift receiver do just that — simultaneously, no less.
$50 and under
WOULDN’T IT BE SO CUTE to buy someone this golden fortune cookie thingy and put a platonic-or-otherwise note of adoration inside for him or her to read? Two gifts for the price of one, I tell ya. There are plenty more gifts that keep on giving in this category, such as an extremely cute espresso maker, a harness for carrying your beach towels during vacation or summer (whichever comes sooner) and a one-year subscription to Gossamer, an unconventional new magazine that covers travel, art, food, and culture through a “green lens.”
$25 and under
This category turned out to be the land of accessories, which I am totally fine with. I’m thrilled, in fact. I want to buy this chunky beanie in every color for myself but instead I will probably give them to all my cousins because I have a biologically-instituted warmth provider thanks to my oodles of hair. Hair!!! That reminds me, I’m really into velvet ribbons as outfit garnishes right now and you and your loved ones should be, too, which is why I heartily recommend this velvet hair tie courtesy of J.Crew that provides a perfect bow with zero finger effort on your gift receiver’s part. They can occupy their digits with other matters, like wearing touchscreen gloves and flipping the pages in Cherry Bombe’s aesthetically pleasing cookbook despite freezing temperatures.
$10 and under
You made it to the last (and best) gift-giving level! $10 or less! What a time to be alive and in the gift-giving spirit! Please give ME the gift of purchasing this mushroom-shaped desk vacuum for everyone you know. I’ve never crushed on something harder. If you and your beloveds aren’t into mushrooms, though, there’s plenty of other goodies to be found: adult coloring books, back scratchers and knit slippers among them. I included this First Aid Beauty kit as well just because I’ve been enjoying this face wash ever since writing this story, and I think your great aunt Sally would, too.
Collage by Louisiana Mei Gelpi.