I knew something had to be done when I found myself seriously contemplating the Balenciaga “Triple S” sneakers. Paying $800 for a pair of stocky kicks that, even if they had sold for the same price as the Zara knockoff, would’ve given Steve Jobs pause? Nah.
What were these powers-that-be that had triggered me to believe I wanted – nay, needed – an 80s-redux sneaker, a newsboy cap, oversized graphic tees that bore the name of metal bands I’d pay to wear but never listen to? As of June, I’d lost at least six ribbed tank tops to a pair of scissors. My husband found his sweatpants in my drawer, held hostage in the hopes that I could wear them folded down to my hipbones, paired with my newly cropped tanks, all in the name of Bella Hadid.
The nail in the sartorial coffin came when I purchased a pair of sock boots. I looked down at my left bunion, straining against its stretch-knit prison and thought to myself: You must be retired. I then resolved to try and stop chasing trends (I’ll let you know how that goes) and revert to a more classic mode of dressing.
Attempt #1: Chasing Fran Lebowitz
Fran Lebowitz refrained from bell bottoms in the 60s, and for that plus a myriad of other reasons, she is my hero. Her signature uniform of 501s, cowboy boots, Hilditch & Key shirts and some version of a jacket hasn’t changed much – if at all – over the years. The above is my approximation of what I’d like my “uniform” to be.
Attempt #2: This Sh*t is Heavy
One gangly arm through this faux fur coat and I was feeling like Mariah Carey (I, too, stick to a strict diet of Norwegian salmon and capers). And while I wouldn’t exactly call these pants “classic,” they are tailored. The idea of wearing my two conflicting moods upon my legs gave me a strange sense of calm. Also, sling backs.
Attempt #3: A Good Ol’ Button down
While foregoing moisturizer is not “classic” per se, tweed, I’m told, is. And nothing says longevity like a crisp blue button-down and a pair of mid-level-but-not-quite-booties. I can’t see myself looking back on this outfit in five years and asking myself, what was I thinking? And for that reason, it is a success. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the bucket hat.
…Which I own.
Thoughts on your own take on what “classic” even means? What do you wear to avoid trends?
Photos by Edith Young.