3 Non-Naked Summer Outfits I’m Buying

My fantasy shopping cart is currently chock-full of the ingredients for three outfits saved in my mental recipe book for imminent summer deployment.

The first ensemble is fascinating to me because I styled it from the shoes up, which I do RARELY, if not never. I certainly wouldn’t call myself a “shoe person,” because I am of the opinion that good shoes rarely “make” the outfit but rather augment it, like Sriracha on a burrito. I should say I used to be of that opinion, though, because here I am, letting a pair of PVC mules run this whole show. I guess I have Leandra to blame because she designed them and they’re amazing. What a monster!

I scooped them up during the Net-a-Porter sale kickoff and it generated a sort of mouse/cookie situation because once these crystal-embellished shoes were in my possession, I suddenly had a hankering for a crystal-embellished belt to wear with them. What? Don’t look at me. I’m not in charge here. The shoes are.

Things only escalated from there, because I realized I would need a yellow caftan to go under the belt, plus a pair of dusky rose-tinted sunglasses to tie the whole thing together.

The second outfit is something I envision wearing to the office during the day and dinner with friends that same evening — a classic day-to-night situation, if you will — hence the two different tops. I would wear the striped tank to work, and then I would execute a quickie change into the tutti frutti crop top circa 7:00 p.m. If my coworkers are lucky, they’ll have the pleasure of glimpsing my seamless transformation as I walk out the door to pursue a meal of halloumi cheese and pink wine.

Last but not least, the third outfit is the answer to a question I have been asking myself recently: “How can I best channel the aesthetic of a modern-day pirate?” I sought out the perfect pirate shirt, which appeared on my computer screen courtesy of J.W. Anderson. According to the description on Matches, Anderson was inspired by “Tudor silhouettes,” which finally explains the popular saying, “One man’s Tudor is another woman’s pirate.” I’m sure you’ve heard it.

Collages by Maria Jia Ling Pitt. 

Harling Ross

Harling is a writer and was most recently the Brand Director at Man Repeller.

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