I once wore the same pair of unwashed denim shorts for like, 95 days straight, with zero shame. I find it difficult to dress creatively during the summer months because frankly, all I want to do is watch Felicity Porter and Ben Covington break up and get back together while I transform my room into a meat locker and pretend like the Con Ed bill is the winter that’s coming but shall never arrive.
Nevertheless, my Instagram feed is replete with men and women looking chic and sheen-free in varying shades of oatmeal-colored fabrics. It makes me feel lazy and left out. Where is everyone procuring their goddamn linens? I wonder. And recently, they’ve inspired me to try harder.
I challenged myself to put together five summer party outfits that do not include the aforementioned denim shorts. Now all I need is an invitation (or not…I always assume mine got “lost in the mail”).
The Backyard BBQ Risk-Taker
By the time summer rolls around, all I want to do is blanket myself in varying shades of white. (You can find me condiment-stain-free over by the corn salad. I’ll be the one avoiding the barbecue sauce.) This top has a long shirttail in the back that makes me feel like a caped crusader when I walk, so I finished off this ensemble with a dirty pair of Birkenstocks to calm down the drama.
Take Me Sailing
Got a party on a boat? No? Me neither. But as that bumper sticker once said, “Life provides the wind. You control the direction of its sail.” I recently started following Na Nin Vintage on Instagram and am now convinced that all I need is a natural-fibered bandeau that ties in the front and some vintage, high-waist sailor pants. This is me trying to approximate that look.
At Least I’ll Be Comfortable
I feel like this look is the best physical manifestation of my general thought process about summer parties. I start off really !excited! And then the thrill quickly wears down until all I’m left with are a black pair of Havaianas. Of course, sometimes the best (and comfiest) outfits come when you stop trying to overthink them. Hence, the flip flop and oversized jeans.
I’ll Hold My Pee for the Rest of the Night
I’d wear this outfit hoping that the party is the kind where everybody ends up in the pool. The prospect almost makes the bathroom-averse nature of this one piece-ballroom-skirt concoction worth it.
You Can’t Lose Your Pants if You Don’t Wear Them
I’m still not sure if this look is pavement-appropriate (the general reaction of those pedestrians who witnessed the taking of this photo was quizzical at best) but I love the idea of tucking a feminine top into a pair of underwear or high-waisted bikini bottoms. Party pants, if you will.
Are you even listening? Or have you started partying already?
Photos by Edith Young.