Oh hello you lil’ angels! Please, come in out of the cold. Take off all those layers and join me at my cozy horoscope hearth. We have golden milk (mylk?) lattes and chill-ass playlists and at least one braid-train going at any given time.
We also have a lot to celebrate this month, including a big farewell to a challenge-ridden January and our entrance into the eclectic and inspired season of Aquarius. This month I turned to astrology GOAT Susan Miller for guidance in crafting these horoscopes for y’all. There are also some deep cuts from The Office sprinkled in. Okay, are your toes warmed up? Good. Let’s get this party started.
Hey, you! You there, adorned by that excellent feat of millinery innovation and interesting outerwear! Yes, I’m looking at you, Aquarius. I am so excited for your birthday and all the gifts the universe has in store for you this month! February is your party and you will cry and/or binge-watch true crime Netflix originals if you want to! But whatever you do, the planets definitely don’t want you to sit this month out. February is filled with very social opportunities for you and tons of luck if you put yourself out there!
So let’s do a lil’ practice party right here, right now. Imagine me standing in the doorway of your birthday party announcing everyone’s outfits and relationship statuses like Dwight Shrute à la the Garden Party episode of The Office. (In this scenario I am wearing a tuxedo-themed leotard; I look great, but not in a flashy way. Don’t mind me, though. Focus. This is your day.)
“Coming through dressed in matching monochrome suede and really getting this party to pop tf off is A NEW MOON IN AQUARIUS & JUPITER’S FINE ASS.”
According to Suz, these two strolling into your life this month means lots of posi vibes (new moon) and lucky shine (Jupiter). “New moons are known to open new paths, and this one will do that and a lot more,” she writes. So choose a part of your life in which you would like to see change and go after that change you rainbow-souled sunbeam!
“Next to arrive to the party, dripping in glitter and holding a bottle of excellent champagne in each hand is FEBRUARY 7, the luckiest day of this here lucky month!”
This is the perfect time to go on a first date, make appointments for stuff, maybe even reach out to that person you met at that gallery once whose business card you’ve just been carrying around since December (they’ll love you).
Phew. That job is a lot harder than Dwight makes it look. Well, Aquarian, whatever flavor your birthday cake is this month, make sure you trust your instincts and use all the pixie dust you’re sprinkled in to get out there and make this your best year yet!
I run in some circles where Pisces get a bad rap. People say y’all are too sensitive, too emotional. Well, to that I say this: When our robot overlords take control and they’re all like, “OMG we forgot to learn how to feel? Which of our human underlings can offer us this antiquated yet for some reason suddenly very important thing?”
That’s right, Pisces.
Now as you know, the flip side of all those feelings is that when something hurts, it hurts deep, and the last two months have not been a cakewalk on that front. But the stars and planets love you and have only been challenging you so that you can grow. Proof of this love? February’s new moon will be shining in your fifth house of creative efforts, meaning this month is filled with inspiration drawn from deep within. Suz wants you to honor that. She writes: “Your intuition will be working at an all-time high this month, too, thanks to the wonderful protection of this new moon, so be sure to listen to what the small voice within tells you.”
Once you’ve honed a creative vision, make a move on February 7. With some good Jupiter/Sun alignment in your 10th house of fame and honors, this should be one of the best days of the month for you to reach out and grab that thing you’ve been reaching for. It’s like you’re Harry Potter in his first quidditch match against Slytherin and your lil’ leather-gloved fingers are soooooooo close to grabbing that golden snitch. Go ahead! Catch the snitch! (You guys, I know he catches it in his mouth in that match but I can’t really work that into the metaphor.) The stars have your back.
Oh Aries, flaming ram of the sky, January was somethin’ else, huh? A month packed with surprises and changes, the good, the bad and the ones you’re still not certain about. Did you get bangs? Did you drop ol’ so-and-so and move on to better things? Did you drop ol’ so-and-so and end up going through a month-long funk which led you to get those bangs in the first place? Whatever the case, change can be difficult.
It will be good to recharge with the energy of other people this month. The new moon is lighting up your 11th house of friend groups and clubs. Although getting out there might be the last thing you want to do after a tense few months, if you get out there and light up some rooms with that fiery zest of yours, you might find some sweet things heading your way. Suz is playing no games about this. She writes:
“Indeed, your greatest personal growth will come from forming new associations with others socially. To enjoy this trend, you must do your part. You may laugh when you hear this, but nothing will happen if you stay inside your house and don’t leave. Be open to adding new types of people to your circle — they will open the shutters of your life and provide a breath of fresh air to you.”
Okayyy, Aries? Put on your most excellent attire and go gift the world with your presence. You’ll thank me later.
Well hello there, you sensuous sky-bovine, do you come here often? I hope so. Because you, Taurus, are (at your best) one of the most grounded, sensual and down-to-earth signs of the zodiac. But one of the pitfalls of your sign’s qualities is a tendency to resist change. This month, I want to encourage you to take some deep breaths and get real soft with yourself because February could be the best month of your whole year if you stay open to the possibilities.
The new moon in Aquarius means that there should be some pretty dazzling career opportunities for you. Suz puts it to you like this: “If you want to establish yourself on a higher level in your industry, this new moon will allow you to reach your desired achievement summit.” So put down your phone and grab onto that career ladder with both hands because it’s time to metaphorically begin the climb.
Here’s the catch: You gotta let the people know you’re available. Which means putting it out into the universe that you are open to a new position, and maybe new responsibilities. Yeah, I know, this is hard for you.
And, while we’re on the topic of big changes, have you been thinking about marriage? Or maybe the life-altering decision to get a joint-custody pet with your significant other(s)? Suz has this exciting but potentially terrifying nugget of wisdom for you right around Valentine’s Day: “Saturn coaxes us to think long-term and makes us aware of the passage of time. If you are ready to be engaged, there will be no more reason to wait.” The only constant is change, dear one. And this month is a time during which that change will be for the better.
Hi Gemini, unfurl that brow and loosen those gritted teeth. January had you pretty stressed out about money, but it’s February and its time to get back to the sensuous, life-loving Gemini you know yourself to be!
A great place to start? Right at home. The full moon on the 19th offers a sweet moment for making decisions about home-related stuff. For example, this would be the time to invest in a big, fancy TV if you suddenly feel the urge to watch everything Timothée Chalamet has ever appeared in. Make it a smart TV, too, so that when you run out of his films you can comb YouTube for bad iMovie collages featuring photos the paparazzi has taken of him.
Get moving on your plans pronto, because the beginning of the month is v auspicious according to Suz. “Enact your most important initiations early in the month, for you will have much going for you. As February opens, Mars will still be in Aries, a fire sign that blends perfectly with your air-sign element.” Take advantage of these alignments and make things happen before mid-month when you might be feelin’ pretty peopled out. When you do, have no qualms about getting some solitary time in. It will recharge your batteries and get you ready for what’s to come. (Meet me here — same time, same place — next month to find out “what’s to come.”)
Light the incense and run a bath, Cancer, because you have already put in some WORK this year. Last month’s two eclipses were hard on many signs, but you — soft-shelled, tender-hearted crab — felt things characteristically deeper than most. I have good news though: It doesn’t matter what the groundhog says this year because the stars say spring is coming early for you! (Not in terms of weather though, don’t throw out those parkas yet! And if you need ideas for some more creative winter layering, um, yeah dude, you know we gotchu.)
February is going to be a turning point for you, Cancer, with many sunny days on the horizon, especially in the realm of business and finance. Our girl Suz says that this month is a time during which you could really see some big financial gains, and not the normal piecemeal stuff. We’re talking stacks, bb! Auntie Suz has this advice for you:
“If you are self-employed, you can bring in new clients or more orders from steady customers now. If you work for others, the same is true. Mars, the ruler of your tenth house of fame, will be touring this same area of your chart relating to your leadership and career reputation and will be in an ideal position to Jupiter in your house of work projects. See what is happening here — you can make money and elevate your status, in terms of the prestigious client you bring in.”
You see what I mean?! It’s time to start that Tilda Swinton-themed sheet mask company you’ve been dreaming of. (Imagine it: Instead of pandas or whatever it’s just Tilda Swinton’s face on your face. Like, c’mon. The world needs this.)
All this career stuff should calm down mid-month, at which point Mars is gonna slide into the DMs of your 11th house (which governs friendship and connection). Take time to see people, friends, lovers, clients, w/e, IRL around the 14th. It’s a good time to re-emerge and show your face around town; your people will thank you. Trust.
It’s time to lighten up, bb. January was heavy what with all those eclipses and a whollllle lot of energy in the work-oriented section of your chart. But February? February will be bringing you way sweeter vibes. This is a time during which you can devote your energy to your partner and feel that effort magnified and returned.
You have major romance vibes all month, but clear your schedule on the 7th because things could get very deep. I’m talking soul-gazing, finishing each other’s sentences, finally-agreeing-on-which-era-of-The Office-to-watch deep. (All my fellow diehards for Will Ferrell as DeAngelo Vickers, meet me in the comments section so we can exchange videos of our very own inspirational juggling demonstrations.)
You also want to put some gold stars around the 19th and the 27th on your calendar because there’s about to be some money on the table then and you don’t want to miss it. Suz wants you to know that you should be accumulating stacks this month: “The full moon of February 19, in Virgo, will bring a financial matter to fullness — it may be that you will accept the salary of a new job. You may pay bills too, but it seems money is coming in, and you will have a surplus.” Lucky Leo, you have a great month ahead of you.
Oh hey there, superstar! Welcome to February! January was v heavy for many Virgos out there, but you can unclench your teeth and loosen your grip on life’s steering wheel now that those two eclipses are behind you. It’s like Marie Kondo is joyfully stepping through your chart and getting rid of everything that doesn’t spark joy. (Please meet me in the comments section for this week’s episode of True Life: I Can’t Stop Fantasizing About Perfectly Rolled T-shirts.)
Also! The new moon this month lights up your sixth house of health. This means that now is a great time to get yourself into a dentist’s office, go see your acupuncturist, and get all that personal health admin stuff out of the way so that you can stay strong and healthy for the year to come.
And! The full moon on the 19th is in Virgo! This is exciting news re: your love life, you excellent lotus blossom. “At this full moon, you’ll see the culmination of a relationship, and it looks like things will move ahead quickly,” writes Suz. “If you are ready to bring a relationship to the next level, it will likely happen within four days of this full moon [on] February 19.” So throw open the windows and let the fresh air in! (Metaphorically, you guys — it’s still friggin’ cold out. Please do not compromise your base level of lip hydration under the influence of this horoscope.)
In summary? This is a month to get your body right and maybe even lock it down with you-know-who. 👀👅👀👅👀👅👀👅👀👅👀👅
Who let these beguiling human butterflies into the room? Oh Libra, you dessert-for-breakfast of a human being, the last two months have been seriously stepping on your chill, no? But look at me. Give me two minutes of uninterrupted eye contact here: The best is yet to come, baby. This month, the new moon lights up your house of true love. Think: a deep and soulful connection with your significant other or surprise encounters with the boo-thang-to-be.
This month is full of warmth for you, Libra. If you’re coupled up, your eyes are turned towards your partner until the Valentine’s Day weekend, making for some very romantic vibes. I hope you have your D’angelo playlist locked and loaded, you naughty so-and-so.
But don’t get so swept up in the romance that you start spending your money willy-nilly like many of you are prone to do. Secure the bag this month, Libra! Don’t get sloppy with your finances. And hey, try not to focus on the money challenges! Suz has hope for you. She says, “In a month when you have so much good happening, keep optimistic — you can handle anything that comes your way.” See? Now skedaddle and go soak up all the good that’s coming your way.
Well, well, well. It looks like someone is in for a lovely February, Scorpio, you sexy arachnid of the stars. (Yes. Scorpions are arachnids, not insects. Stay tuned for more of the haut scorpion facts that I have learned in the course of writing this horoscope.) With the new moon illuminating your house of home this month, this is the perfect time to take some of that deep well of inspiration permeating your life and apply it to your lil’ nest. This is a time to paint, create and renovate. (Mohair accents and bold lighting choices, anyone?)
Um, even better news for you this month: According to Suz, it’s time to do some shopping. Full disclosure, I am both jealous of this permissive celestial guidance and mad about it because I can’t think of how to link it to all the cool scorpion facts I now know. Anyway. It’s time to cruise all those online baskets you’ve been filling up and pull the trigger on the things you’ve been itching for, especially around mid-month.
And while we’re on the topic of your lovely home, you should probs get out of it a bit more than usual this month. I know, I know, you are a solitary type (except when you are a baby scorpling and live with all your lil’ brothers and sisters ON YOUR SCORPION MOTHER’S BACK!! How crazy is that?!?!), but Suz has this advice for you re: a very chill full moon: “This will be a loving full moon for it will coax you to connect and enjoy the warmth of friends and to be out more than usual … near February 19 you must go out.” Straight from the star goddess’ mouth itself! Put on your finest outerwear and paint the town red. Also, hit me up in the comments section for additional scorpion facts. You may think you don’t need them, but oh, how wrong you are.
Dammmmmmn, Sag! Look at you and all your motivation just floating through the room. The lights are shining on you, the invisible fan is blowing your hair back like you’re the protagonist in a rom-com wherein the whole schtick is that the main character is a nerd that no one notices but then she straightens her hair and suddenly she’s hot and also the princess of Genovia! (Which, um, is apparently a real place? Why has no one told me this?) Wait, where were we?
Ah, yes. Sag in the month of love. You are friggin’ killin’ it this month. You have so many planets aligning in your chart that you’ll get the career boost you have been grinding for. Suz wants you to keep an eye on the full moon. “The biggest news occurs at the full moon, February 19, for it will be the time of 2019 when your career hits an all-time high,” she writes. “Big professional news is coming to you, and all the fireworks will burst open in the sky within four days of this date.” But beware! If you gotta sign a contract this month, do it now before March’s Mercury retrograde steps in.
I personally would also suggest you cool your jets and kick it with your lover around mid-month. The stars suggest a short trip might be in order with that special someone around the seventh or even the ninth and 10th. Maybe a BnB, not necessarily of the air variety. I’m thinking classic bed and breakfast, one with endless floral prints and a kitchen featuring either rooster or cow-themed accessories. This could be the best month of the year for you, you brave starling, so take full advantage! Maybe start meditating or journaling; do whatever it takes to stay present for all the great things headed your way.
Dearest, darling-est starchild, the past year or so has been a difficult one for many, and according to the stars, this is even truer for you. Listen, I know myself, and I am not too proud to admit that I play it pretty fast and loose with advising you hard-working dears to take long baths and get your REM cycle on. But, first of all, that is literally always good advice, and second of all, if you have been stubbornly ignoring my ministry of bath bombs and good sheets, now is the time to heed it because this month brings some serious reckoning with choices you’ve made or ways you might’ve strayed from your path. Don’t despair! Please remember that everything that is happening right now is happening for you, not to you. It is never too late to make a new choice and to recommit to your passions.
Speaking of passion, it’s not all stern and serious this month. Around mid-February, the travel bug should latch on and give you a jolt of wanderlust. Follow that! And maybe make it into a romantic getaway if you’ve got someone who you feel all sexy about. Or! If you’re single, take a trip and expect some romance à la [insert fav rom-com wherein the protagonist goes on a trip and gets her groove back and/or meets cute and/or eats, prays and loves here]! Suz puts it to ya like this: “A trip you take may become very romantic, either because you meet someone special you will want to see more of while you are on the trip, or because you will travel with your sweetheart.”
So take good care, angel. It might be a challenging time, but you have such sweet things on the horizon.
Illustration by Audrey H. Weber.