Pink sparkling alien-planet piles of sand are meant to be poked, I am sorry. Rihanna wouldn’t have put them there (there being on the floor of the Park Avenue Armory’s venue for her Fenty Puma SS18) if she didn’t want people to give it a little ding dong on the old door bell, right?
Apparently not! The piles of sands were a no-touch zone, which I learned the hard way.
Here are 10 other important things I learned/stuff you should know about Rihanna’s Sunday night Fenty Puma NYFW showing.
1. Rihanna launched swim and it’s as though she realized one more of her great life’s purposes.
Some of it’s wearable, some of it is terrifying, a lot of it is neon and if sold, all will sell.
2. Anything can be fishnet, really, even underwear or swim bottoms.
Either way, I do believe that this is the solution the world needed to the whole “breathable” question.
3. If you didn’t begin to celebrate the 80s this summer with high-thigh-cut bathing suits, the late 80s/early 90s will be fully beachside venerated by 2018.
The more neon, the more pubic region showing, the more radical the sunglasses to pair with your biker shorts and scrunchies, the better.
4. Speaking of, biker shorts!!!
All of us need to stop what we are doing immediately in regards to athletic pants and find biker shorts in bright colors then match them to and wear them under super short, skirted athletic shorts.
5. I asked Shiona Turini what she thought the people needed to know about this show and she said “Joan Smalls is still queen.”
6. Rihanna is trying to make high-heeled flip flops a thing.
If anyone can make them a thing it is Rihanna. (Raise your hand if she’s the one who got you to wear pool slides sans irony) The big difference here is that hers have surfboard leash-inspired ankle straps. WOULD YOU DO IT: y/n?
7. Visors, meanwhile, are 100% “back” in action from the depths of…
IDK, their Sandals resort vacation and every retirement community golf club ever? Swear on my life: if you don’t already, you will want one. They have been all over fashion week, Leandra’s been talking about them since last summer and now, at Fenty Puma SS18, they appeared on models.
8. Ditto fanny packs.
If you’re doing the Fenty Puma look, however, they have to be over-over-sized.
9. I learned that I never knew I needed a cropped reflective waterproof half-zip wind breaker quite so badly as I do right now.
10. Motocross is the new yoga!!!
But please, don’t try any of those tricks at home. (Rihanna opened and closed the show with motorcycles zipping up one end of the Park Avenue Armory, flipping high as hell over the pink sand mounds and landing on the other end. I mean, the crowd was GASPING, and to shock a fashion crowd on a late Sunday night is tough.) Get your fix instead via the clothes, like wide-legged pants (that might remind you of 2006), bodysuits and parachute-strapped jackets.
Although, by all means, if you want to show up to a party or work like this, you 100% should.
Runway Photos via Vogue Runway; feature image Victor Virgile via Getty Images.