Let’s all take a moment to mourn super-blond, eyeliner’d Gigi Hadid, for she is gone but not forgotten. May she forever rest next to a freakishly blue, eerily empty oceanside in some sunny corner of our memories/the internet.
Now, I’d like to respectfully request you get the F over that and direct your attention to the matter at hand: Present-day Gigi, that solemn-looking gazelle who is never not loping between a New York City building and a black car. Her hair’s a little darker, her skin’s a little paler and her closet is impossibly stuffed with new coats. Present-day Gigi scarcely wears the same thing twice (too pedestrian), never lets her bare eyes show (too mortal) and, most importantly, is literally not a day over 22. Happy birthday, G.
In honor of this special occasion, I’ve broken down the mechanics of her style below. Should you come into a great deal of money and fame and be in urgent need of a paparazzi-worthy style identity, simply abide by the following rules, call a black car and get trotting. Above, you’ll find a starter kit of 25 looks; there were so many good ones from the last year alone that I basically closed my eyes and pointed. Present-day Gigi guidelines are below.
#1. Once you wear a coat, it’s forever soiled. Give it away.
#2. If you want to wear white sneakers, they need to differ ever-so-slightly from the last white sneakers you wore. If you want to wear lace-up combat boots, they better be brand new.
#3 Always wear sunglasses or glasses of some kind, lest your truth be captured by the paps. Ideally these come in cool shapes and fun colors and look better than everyone else’s.
#4. Fur-lined Gucci loafers, mom jeans and sneakers are still cool as long as you’re in a chic hurry while wearing them.
#5. Take care not to overheat your left shoulder. Give it some air.
#6. Always cover your neck with a bandana or turtleneck so no one sees your Zayn hickeys.
#7. Wear leather skinny pants with chunky boots and big coats when you plan to sign nondisclosure agreements.
#8. When it comes to buns and ponytails, flyaways are a sign of weakness.
#9. Be vulnerable; show some ankle.
#10. A short list of things you shouldn’t be afraid of: a little midriff, a Bermuda short, a shirt with your boyfriend’s name on it.
#11. Unbutton your ankle-grazing flannel nightgown for a classic night-to-day lük.
#12. Never outwardly express joy.
#13. Finally, if you must run to the bodega in a laundry-day outfit or pajamas, make sure to look better than anyone who has ever run out to the bodega in the history of urban living.
Feature photo by Raymond Hall/GC Images via Getty Images.