13 Haikus About Sex in Quarantine

Quarantine Sex Haikus

Let’s talk about sex, baby–quarantine sex, to be specific. We asked the Man Repeller community to dish about the sex they’ve been having over the last four months (solo sex, no sex, lots of sex, dreams about sex, old sex, new sex, great sex, awkward sex) in haiku form, naturally. Scroll below for a poetic glimpse into the minds of 13 people (and under their respective bed sheets), and feel free to share a glimpse into yours in the comments below.

Like when the pool first
opens, swimsuit on, head-first—
then once, twice a month

Take your meds, people
I doubled my dose, and now
I’m horny again

Phone sex locations:
His apartment in Brooklyn
My parents’ driveway

When my sex drive wanes
There’s Al Pacino movies
Then I’m good to go.

My Self as a lover
Worthy of all affections
Our breath is divine

Dreamt of rubbing
Elbows with a boy, not my boy
Wow it turned me on

Lazy day time sex
The most intimate sex yet
Covid baby oops

I’m considering
Asking my ex for sex. I
Know it’s bad. Please help!

Phallic vegetables
oh no my heart is racing
lunch break solo sesh

Shhh the kids are near.
close the door, not all the way.
screen time for the win.

Watched Euphoria
Had sex like teenagers but
No drugs or blackmail

Cramped in a Honda Civic
Can you move your legs higher?
Ouch, I hit my head

Random pre-quar date
Turned to never leaving bed
Now I think it’s love

Feature Image via Everett Collection.

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