First step Hawaiian shirt, second step teardrop legs.
Of all the fun that is had in summer, curly chest hair fanned out across a chest — long-enough to peek up and over the unbuttoned-V of a Hawaiian shirt like a welcome, just-sayin’-hey-neighbor — has the most.
Can you even imagine??
Can you just picture what it’s like to be the stringy, wiggy cherry on top of a tropical outfit sundae? What a THRILL that must be!
Now think about said flower-flushed topper. The Hawaiian shirt! It’s the whole point of this post — a for-everyone blouse that is, in and of itself (hairy hat or not) an absolute thing of beauty.
Because the Hawaiian shirt is the definition of loose and free!
Oh my god, can’t you just see?
What shirt offers more “Man, can ya feel that breeze” breezability? It begs to flap behind your body — a cotton cape patterned with traditional florals and sometimes random things. It looks for wind to catch, like a colorful mainsail. And it begs, like the outer corners of Beyoncé’s hair, to be blown away.
Why, it practically screams in the voice of 80s, “CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY!”
The Hawaiian shirt is here to dance. It’s here to party, to boogie, to sing. The Hawaiian shirt arrives on time and while it might be the first to expose a bare torso, it is always the last to leave.
It takes naps during the day on hammocks and laps; it rests on the shoulders of humans leaning way, way back (how do they not fall off their chairs when they do that?) and somehow it manages to look fantastic on every body type, in every situation, when paired with everything.
The Hawaiian shirt is a short sleeve button-down (untucked) with a pocket that puts a microphone to its mustachioed mouth and shouts, “SUMMER!!!!”
So find your nearest dad. Find your nearest dude. Find your newest woman suntanning in the nude who has carelessly left her carefree Hawaiian shirt down by the ocean, because she won’t even mind passing it on to you seeing as it’s all in the name of fun.
And it is. Rip the buttons off it, for all anyone cares. The Hawaiian shirt is a shirt unbound. And you? You are the curly chest hair.