Holiday So Whats


So what if…

You have not bought anyone a single present yet?

No one has.

So what if you sort of don’t plan on it?


So what if you’re already sick of holiday music?

So what if you’ve been listening steadily since 11/25 and still can’t get enough?

So what if you don’t have a single new outfit for any of the upcoming parties?

I promise that while everyone genuinely will be excited to see you, no one will care if you repeat a skirt.


So what if you don’t have any parties to go to?

Throw one yourself or relish in a luxurious evening of nothing to do.

So what if you’re single right now?

I know that it feels like you’re the only one in the world.

But you’re not. Ice skating wasn’t designed solely for daters. Call your best friend and tell her to lace the fuck up.


So what if you hate this time of year and feel guilty about your grump?

So what if you love this time of year SO DAMN MUCH, but feel embarrassed for caring because you’re an adult?


So what if you dislike the one holiday movie everyone else is “obsessed with”? (You don’t get it.)

So what if you have watched said holiday movie about 900 times on repeat as of reading this?

So what!

It’s okay to be stressed about family time.

It’s okay to be mad that you have to spend the holiday with your significant other’s family.

It’s okay to do whatever you feel you need to do with cakes, pies and festive, frosted cookies.


So what if you hate the snow?

So what if you’d live in a snow globe if you could?

So what if don’t make end-of-year plans with everyone you “should”?

So what if you still write Santa a letter?


So what if you have officially become your mom and bought a poinsettia?

Speaking of:

So what if you had so many CVS coupons that your plastic wreath was free?

So what if you’ve yet to buy a Christmas tree?

So what if the reason you’re not going to buy one at all is because you don’t feel like dealing with it after it dies?

So what if coming home to a lit-up tree stuffed into your teeny tiny apartment is the only thing keeping your spirits alive?


So what if, despite everything, you can’t help but still feel like this time of year is magic?

(Even if you just rolled your eyes.)

Instead of “ho,” replace the word “so”: So, so, so!


You still need a winter coat though. Yes, you do. These are under $400. And a fun sweater.

Illustrations by Maria Jia Ling Pitt; follow her on Instagram @heysuperstar.

Amelia Diamond

Amelia Diamond

Amelia Diamond is a writer, creative consultant, and Man Repeller alumnus living in New York City.

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