Gucci say, monkey do — you know? Me being the monkey. So when Gucci was all like, “here’s a beret, strap that shit onto your head and wear it loud,” I was like, “okay.” And then I actually tried to wear a beret in the context of three different looks and you know what I found? I looked much better before putting the hat on, even better after taking the hat off, but never particularly cool with it actually perched atop my head.
Allow me to walk you through the making of this sausage. An iPhone note in my phone, dated October 27th, 2016, outlined three different looks.
The first? “The Chloe Sevigny Way”

AG sweater, Reformation blouse, Topshop skirt, Falke socks, Massimo Dutti shoes, Charlotte Olympia bag, Borsalino beret
This outfit was more or less a direct copy-paste stolen from the body of Ms. Sevigny, only recreated with a bunch of clothing I already own. Yes, I ended up approximating Blair Waldorf more acutely, and with the introduction of the beret, probably looked more like a French school girl in pursuit of a baguette (the stereotypes! They’re running amuck!) than anything else, but I maintain that in spite of the pins I dutifully added to the ivory beret, the hat style just doesn’t…suit me?
And hey, that’s okay!
Because as evidenced by both life and look number two — the blatant French way…

Dries Van Noten trousers, La Ligne shirt, Ellery scarf, Halogen beret, Le Specs x Adam Selman sunglasses
You don’t always have to get it “right.” On the contrary, sometimes you fuck up and when you do, you just get naked and then try again.
Here’s what trying again looks like:

Morgan Lane pants, La Ligne blouse, Dries Van Noten robe, Celine shoes, Borsalino beret and necklaces by Aracano and Carolina Bucci
So much fun! And I think I can get down with how I look in this particular beret. Here I’m wearing silk pajama pants that are awesome, but which suck in the winter (static is one more reason to consider moving to the West Coast). There is a silk pajama blouse, too, and a robe to make me feel “chambre-chic.” I’m sorry I just said that, but not sorry enough to delete it, so here we are, at the intersection of poor journalism and a-holes.
Final verdict: If you’re me, no, you can’t avoid looking like a ding dong in a beret. If you’re someone else, however, (lucky for you!), the world is still an oyster in pursuit of its pearl. So try it, share a picture and your dreams. Thx.
Photos by Krista Anna Lewis.