Every fall, I challenge myself to stay out of tights for as long as possible. They are so constricting it both physically hurts my stomach and emotionally batters my heart to think that my legs might not see the light of day for the greater part of a year. This is a concern that comes up only because I am an advocate for the abolition of pants (or leg coverings at large, really). But then again, you know what they say, right? Your enemy’s enemy is your friend and in the battle between tights and pants, pants win my affection by a landslide. I’d count the ways but what’s the use? I’m not here to waste your time. I apologize, in fact, for the above throat clearing. Let’s just get into it instead: Here is a photographic list of three ways to cover your legs without using tights.
1. Do It In All Denim Because You Miss 2012
What? It was a great year! Vintage Levi’s were still novel, people were putting anything that would fit under a denim shirt or jean jacket onto their chests and getting dressed was so easy because no one had referred to easy dressing as normcore yet, so no felt bad about looking like a cultural statement. The good news is, you still won’t look like a cultural statement because you’re the insane person wearing a denim dress over jeans with a denim jacket and so many gold chains to match your shoes. Well done! Nice Croakies.
2. Do It With Stirrup Leggings
I call this one the Céline/Balenciaga mashup because both designers advocate the wearing of leggings under dresses and one such designer has gone so far as to develop stirrup leggings (Balenciaga) while the other is sending silk dresses down her runway like it is her job, which I guess it is. Add a shearling sweatshirt if you have one, but a trench coat will do just fine, too.
3. Do It Without Pants
Defy the odds! You make the rules. If you still can’t bring yourself to wear pants (I get it, I’m with you), just don’t. Turn a miniskirt into a peplum and wear it over one of the manifold slip dresses I probably manipulated you into purchasing earlier this year. If you want, you can add a striped turtleneck and, essentially, a clear sweater, but you don’t have to. This is just a thought starter.
Can I ask you an honest question now? How frequently should one eat smoked salmon?
Photos by Krista Anna Lewis.