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I Think I Found the Best Shorts in the World

I am obsessed with a pair of corduroy shorts. They are thick, structured and feature an elastic high waist, which is how I’d describe my ideal aesthetic in three bullet points. I had no idea a single garment could contain all these things at once — the final point often destabilizes the others — but these do! They are a triple threat of fun and flattering and comfortable. When I wear them I feel like the version of myself I have in my head but usually fail to achieve. That’s a tall order for a pair of shorturoys.

I got them from The Cords & Co, and I’d like them to stack on my shelf in such proportions that an onlooker couldn’t help but think of Doug Funny. I want them in black, white, navy, beige, green, blue — really any color that occurs in nature. Currently, they only come in gray and pink, but you can rest assured I’ve emailed the brand to politely ask for more. (It was past midnight and I was on a corduroy high.)

I’m so full of ideas about how I want to wear them that I think I jinxed the weather on unbridled enthusiasm alone. The fact that we had to conduct this shoot indoors due to a snowstorm might indicate I need to calm the hell down. But you know what? We shot this on the first day of spring and it’s not my fault the East Coast has never heard of California. Plus, these are the first shorts I think I’ve ever liked, and true love waits for no season. Here’s how I plan to wear them forever, in case you care:

1. With Unbuttoned Dresses

This dress, also known as my baptism look, is a little sheer, meaning I’ll be a little wary of wearing it alone come sunshine. Enter: sturdy bloomers in the form of corduroy shorts, presented like a sneak peek and perfect for a picnic in the park. I added a scarf and tied it in a bow so I could feel even more like a baby on a special day. What do you think? I feel so secure I wouldn’t even care if you hated it.

2. With Long Tunics and Boots!

I’ve been talking a lot with no one about how my summer look will entail stiff shorts and long tunics, and I do so with this specific pairing in mind. You see how my shorts are just peeking out? I respect their willingness to take a backseat every once in a while. As for the shoes, I’ve long wondered how I’d get on the knee-high boot train and finally found the proportions to enable it. Don’t they look fun? I’d walk around a bookstore in this or call my mom and tell her New York has been much less stressful recently.

3. With Stripes and Blazers

The brogues are back, did you miss them? They paired nicely with this stately corduroy look, which I’d wear to your sister-in-law’s baby shower in a heartbeat, hairy legs and all. I’d also be happy to swap out the blazer for a raincoat or gargantuan sweater. I’m flexible! Just like these shorturoys, which are neutral without being boring. It’d almost be rude to ask more of them, wouldn’t it? They’re already striped-without-being-striped and casual-without-being-casual, how many more facets could one pair of short contain?

I might be losing my mind.

Photos by Edith Young.

Haley Nahman

Haley Nahman

Haley Nahman is the Features Director at Man Repeller.

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