We know better than to fix what’s far from broken, not to mess with a good thing. Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge — or more colloquially, Kate Middleton — is prime example. I bet you literally never have to tell her to use her indoor voice because a relative is trying to nap, let alone suggest that she not wear a certain top. I once saw a photo of her in a pair of black jeans and a cable-knit sweater and it looked so perfect, so effortless, so casual (but also very royal) that I put myself in detention for bringing shame upon my own drawer of cable knits. Ralph Lauren, I’d like to publicly apologize for not being Kate each and every time I wear one of your sweaters. Not worthy. On behalf of all denim: I’m sorry. My people are in the process of issuing a statement.
But a fatal flaw that lies within me is that I LOVE TO MEDDLE!!! Just a little bit! I can’t help it! And so, in honor of her birthday, I thought it would be fun to give Kate Middleton the MR makeover that she never asked for and definitely did not need. I took three of her highly-praised, circulated-throughout-the-media looks and put a color-clashing spin on them.
Rosie Assoulin checkered top over Creatures of Comfort top, Seafarer pants, Manolo Blahnik shoes, Topshop hat
Do you remember when I took an etiquette class to try and be as poised as Lady Mary? That was so stressful — my hat’s off to absolutely everyone who can fork-balance their peas. I’m equally as impressed when someone matches. So here she is on the right, dressed as though you can just tell she has impeccable manners. And on the left? A wild woman! To tie the whole thing together, I took a cue from her red suit and added a hat.
Zimmermann dress over ribbed Altuzarra dress, Tory Burch belt, MR by Man Repeller boots
How would she dress if she wasn’t under constant scrutiny of the entire world, not to mention the Queen of England? Maybe she’d be a little bit funkier. Maybe she’d get a little weird! I think she’d keep her general aesthetic (very femme, lots of ruffles, pretty) but punk it up a bit.
Nike coat, Reformation skirt, Reformation black sweater over pink Tome top, DKNY tights, Kate Spade shoes
Part of looking put-together is being appropriately dressed for occasion and weather, which Kate Middleton always is. This is my recreation of her classic turtleneck/A-line skirt combination with a baby blue overcoat. I imagined her in downtown New York City during a cold front and gave her a puffer jacket instead.
Happy birthday, Kate Middleton! To be completely honest, I think this was a gift to me.
Special thanks to our “Kate” model, Tiara Swain. Follow her on Instagram @tiara_swain_.
Speaking of the royal family, remember when Prince Harry set the ultimate boyfriend precedent?