3 Outfit Ideas for 3 Improbable Events

I appreciate that it is helpful to be served outfit ideas for targeted events you might have on your calendar. Ones that beg the question, “What do I wear?” But isn’t such a recommendation a little formulaic? I will keep doing it for as long as you keep asking for it, but just this one time (fine, this is the second time), I thought it might be more fun to develop three highly unlikely scenarios, scenarios that will almost definitely not occur (in this lifetime at least), and the outfits one might choose to wear in the event of their coming.

Personally, I tend to find that I learn more about myself — what I like and what I dislike, what I’d wear and what I wouldn’t — from the nots. Because there is basically no framework around any of these looks, because you’re not going to do any of these things, anything goes. You’re free from the box I sometimes hastily put you inside! How does it feel?

Scenario 1: You forgot your pants at home when you left for yoga this morning and have a big board meeting this afternoon. (The topic on deck is whether or not dipping your toes in a bowl of milk could become the next new, nonsensical health trend.)

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Saint Laurent blazer, Monogram T-shirt, Outdoor Voices leggings, Chanel sock boots, Rosie Assoulin sunglasses

Scenario 2: SJP called and wants to have a Sex and the City viewing party of only season four to talk through exactly how she felt in every single outfit. The theme of said party, being held in her New York City home, is hygge.

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J.Crew sweater, Monogram T-shirt, Ganni skirt — similar here, Liudmila sandals, Christopher Kane bag

Hence the sweater (Hygge)! Not hence the leopard print skirt or the fluffy-ass shoes (Carrie vibez).

Scenario 3: We’re moving to that new planet NASA discovered last week and you can only take four garments with you.

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Ganni jacket — similar style here, Peter Som feather top — another here, Sonia Rykiel jeans — similar color option here, Church’s loafers, Rejina Pyo sunglasses

Make them count.

Alternative use for story: Swap my head out with the heads of various forms of curiously cute (kewt!) rodents to add to your portfolio of collage art.

Photos by Tory Rust; follow her on Instagram @toryrust.

Leandra M. Cohen

Leandra M. Cohen is the founder of Man Repeller.

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