Your December Horoscope Is Here With (Silver) Bells On

December 2018 Horoscopes Man Repeller

Welcome to Sagittarius Season, bbs.

Thank god we made it, because this Mercury retrograde has been rough. Remember last month when I went on about how dope it can be to learn from retrogrades instead of being tormented by them? Wish I could say that now.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still learning, but if we can think of lessons as medicine for just a moment, the kind that came to me in the beginning of November arrived in the form of a sweet, honey-flavored lozenge, while the kind at the end of the month was worse than that over-the-counter cough syrup my mom would force down my throat by holding my nose so as to “gently encourage” my mouth open. Things been a bit off for anyone else?

Either way, let’s get back to the fact that 1) Mercury’s stationing direct on December 6th, so all those communication woes should end, and 2) not only is it Sag season, but Jupiter is back! (In its home sign.) What’s that mean for you?

From Chani, whose horoscopes for the last full moon helped guide my advice this month: “Jupiter wants everyone to grow. It knows that keeping good things to oneself only limits our ability to experience the best of life. Generosity breeds more of the same, and this Sagittarius season is here to help us remember the power of giving what we’ve got.”

For more specifics, let’s move on to the ‘scopes.


First of all, happy birthday! It’s your motherfucking season and life is about to be abundant. I hope you’ve got an MR Buffet haul coming your way. In the meantime, here’s Chani’s gift to you: “Too many are unconscious of the ways in which they might take from you without reciprocating. You don’t need to feed any more adults that refuse to do so for themselves.” Oh! That just fucked me all the way up, and I’m not even Sagittarius.

In other words, it’s time to put yourself first, Sag. I know you hate being cooped up. You’re a traveler. Exploring, finding people along the way, collaborating with them — this is all in your fiery nature. You want to try new things and take on projects and generally expand into the infinite universe — I get it. And the last full moon just enhanced your expansion. All good. Go ahead and cut a wide swath why don’t ya? Twenty bucks says all you put into the world will be received with gratitude.

As Chani puts it, “Refuse to hide, shrink, or deny your needs at the moment.” You’re on fire right now — go forth, take up space! Just remember that when it comes to other people, your needs are mutual effort and respect. (And stay hydrated, bbs.)


What’s cooking, Cap? Seriously (although not necessarily literally) asking, because all the effort you’ve been putting in to [fill in the blank] is going to pay off. Just be patient with yourself and believe in that thing you already know to be true: Slow and steady wins the race. Oh my god sorry I’m such a grandpa.

Anyway, like Chani says: “Trusting your process is priceless. Spending time investigating, researching, and doing deep dives into the subjects that most intrigue you is one of the best investments that you can make right now.” Well okay then, know what you gotta do? All that investigating, researching, deep-diving stuff, sure, but you also gotta slow down for like, two seconds. If I may get a bit more woo woo than usual: Be quiet. Get quieter than the footsteps of a baby mouse wearing slippers. And still! Get so still that if you were a lake you’d be mistaken for a mirror and people would be all like, “Weird…why is there a big ol’ mirror in the shape of a lake on a ground?” This is when you can really hear yourself — and reflection is a crucial part of any process, amirite? Pro tip: You don’t have to reflect alone. Stillness and isolation are not the same thing.


Ooooh okay, you been setting some intentions, huh? How’s that been working out for you? Great, I’m sure — if you’ve been harnessing that power your Aqua ass has. If not, time to start doing so, like, yesterday. Chani’s coming through with a nice reminder, too: “Notice which of your talents are ready and willing to support you. Notice which of your dreams are coming into being. Notice who in your community helps your creative desires thrive.” And don’t just don’t disregard all the information you gather, either.

I bet you’ve been working on your communication, doing some serious reflection, maybe even going to therapy (proud uh you!). Now is the time for you to put all that dope yet difficult self-work you’ve been engaging in to use — but not only for yourself. As Chani writes, “The more room we make for each other, the more possibilities open up for all of us.” Carry that advice with you like the water your symbol bears and you’ll be good this Sag season. Do not doubt the work you’ve been doing. Do not doubt the progress you have made and will continue to make. And don’t forget about setting those intentions.


Hey Pisces, let me tell you something: You’re the shit. And no, I’m not just gassing you. I’m trying to get the message across that whatever it is you look for in others to inspire confidence and all that? You have it, too. An apt message from Chani: “Your past is just that. The more current you can keep yourself, the more you’ll be able to find your power and use it.” And we both know that that Pisces power is real. (P.S. Stop reading my mind, please. Thanks.)

Paying attention to those you love and making time for those who love you is powerful medicine. Who’s number one on those lists? Hope it’s you, baby! What I’m saying is turn that insight of yours inward. Sure, it can be overwhelming and even unsettling at times, but leaning in is all the rage right now. More of that, please. Your job right now is to do what you’re best at: Feel things — just remember to be kind and gentle with yourself and block any haters who might shame you for your sensitivity. Btw, Chani and I both suggest you let yourself consciously connect to what’s occurring under the surface.


This Sag season is gonna bring you some messages, Aries. Like this one via Chani: “Wanting to be right is human, but wanting to understand something new about ourselves through our interactions is a divine gift. The more open you are to learning about your prejudices, hang-ups, and how you shut down when things hit close to home is a far greater accomplishment than proving a point.” You paying attention?

And speaking of paying attention, are you thinking about the connections you make? Your fiery ass has a magnetic personality that can attract a lot of people — ’tis the season to make time for those who actually hold space for you (and your growth!).

Or as Chani puts it, take note of the folks in your life that come to your aid in the most gracious and generous of ways, because that growth I mentioned, like, a second ago? It’s happening, whether you’re ready for it or not. Life throws a lot at us, ju know? Don’t freak out. Just know you’ll reaaaally benefit from surrounding yourself with people who are down to hold your hand or your hair back when things get rough.


Hi. It’s transformation time! Can you feel it? The shifts that have been taking place in your life, both big and small? I’m mad hype for you, Taurus. It’s exciting to let yourself grow in new ways. (And I know you love the comfort of stability, so I really hope these changes have not been causing mild panic. If they have: Remember to breathe and drink lots of water! You’ll be fine. More than fine, even — you’ll be great.)

Here, lemme ground this advice in the material world for you (I know you like that kind of thing): According to Chani, now is the time to impress others with the skills you have been developing and most want to work with. All that work you’ve been doing? Skills you’ve been cultivating? Put it all to use! Easy peasy. And, as a lil’ bonus, Chani writes: “Whatever professional or financial plan you have been developing over the past 6 months is revealing its ability and strength.” In the end, there are changes afoot and coin to be collected — ain’t half bad if you ask me.


Please, a moment of silence…for all those we are slaying with our successes. Whether or not the retrograde has fucked you up, there’s no denying that overall, we Geminis are killing the game right now. You feel that? The feeling of hard work paying off? It might feel better than the soft-ass faux fur of an Apparis coat, but don’t let the satisfaction play you. There’s still work to be done. FYI, I say all this as a Gemini myself, so I obviously know what I’m talking about — and needed Chani to get me together with this:

“Whatever you have accomplished and whatever you are in need of will be amplified. Don’t let the information arise in vain.”

The thing is, when our airy signs experience highs like this, it can be hard for us to ground ourselves. Trust me when I say that flying high feels good but is not the formula for sustained stardom. So: Relax. Try to get into your body. Take a damn bubble bath, why don’t ya? Just slow down a bit — and meditate on this final piece of advice from Chani: “Right now one of the most powerful things for you to do is put yourself in spaces where you are with others that challenge you to expand your awareness, deepen your commitment to your development, and find all possible ways to celebrate the love in your life.”


Hey Cancer. You feeling a lot right now? I know you’re sensitive, like, all the time, but if now is an especially tender time for you — and I think it is — that’s okay. Chani seconds that sentiment (“Right now it is easy for you to feel overwhelmed”) and suggests that you work on recognizing and serving what is satisfying and soulful. Tend what enriches both your body and mind and you’ll be alright.

Chani also wants you to know that your professional pursuits need your thorough attention and as much of your patience as is possible right now — both of which are pretty hard to come by if you are running on empty. So “fill up your reserves for the benefit of your entire being,” she writes. To that I say, eat good food. Spend time with people who care deeply about you. Watch a cat video (Haley suggests this one). Look up fancy chickens. Fancy chickens should be enough to carry you through to the new year.


Guess what? Now’s the perfect time to nurture your networks. What community have you been building recently? How have you been pouring into your partnerships? If your lion pride has been getting in the way or blocking you from really connecting, remember that creativity loves generosity, abundance is a polyamorous love muffin, and the more flirtatious you are with that bounty, the more inspiration and energy you’ll receive.

In other words, “Keep curious about how you can fulfill more than your own agenda.” (Those are Chani’s words btw, not mine, but here are my words on sharing for a little inspo in that regard.) And while we’re on the topic of curiosity…have you been curious about your past? Specifically about how old trauma might be affecting your current relationships or ability to…what’s our keyword here…connect? Thought so. A tip, if I may: Let yourself let go of old wounds and lean into opportunities for laughter. With others! Give into my corniness and the idea that collectively we can be the bright spots we want to see in the world.


Are you letting yourself relax, boo? Probably not. Le sigh. No, actually le sigh, as in, take some deep fucking breaths and let go. I know it’s hard to release that Virgo urge of yours to control and solve, but you don’t have to hold onto that steering wheel so tight. Look, your knuckles are turning white and with the lack of sun during these winter months I suggest avoiding any activities that don’t add a bit of color.

Yeah, if there are two things this season is about for you, I’d say it’s the two Ps: pops of color and peace with your past. I bet there’s a lot showing up in your public life that is more than likely connected to the healing taking place in your inner world — “Notice any perspective change you are experiencing about old wounds that comment on your abilities, talents, or value add,” Chani suggests. “As you are released from feeling responsible for other people’s happiness” — more letting go! — “you are able to grant yourself the gift of your own happiness, which has the power to heal the wounds of multiple generations.”


There are things that are easy to remember, like brushing your teeth before bed or how many days it’s been since placing your MR Buffet order, and things that are more difficult. For you, Libra, one of those more difficult things can be adoring yourself. Put yourself and your magic first, bb. Like Chani says, “It’s easy to let the cacophony of life drown out our intuitive wisdom, but keeping connected to it is a super power like no other you can access.”

Sometimes the messages your intuition sends are hard to handle, Libra, so here’s some advice: Remember that you’ve already gotten this far! How’d you do it? How’d you hold onto stability in such wild, wack times? Celebrate whatever the hell you did to get where you are. It’s an accomplishment. And then remember that what you need and what partners (romantic, professional, etc.) need might be entirely different at the moment. As Chani writes, “When we are confronted by the truth about the difference, imbalance, or challenge with another, liberation usually lies on the other end of the difficulty.” You got this.


Whew child, you ready to make room for the future? That’s gonna have to a be a “yes,” because it’s coming no matter what. The thing is though, Scorpio, you’ve already been preparing for what’s to come for mad long. Proud uh you! And don’t play coy, either, you know what I mean: I bet you’re out there releasing toxic relationships left and right. Figuring out who to get involved with, how to work more efficiently, all that good shit.

Yep. Chani sees it too. “Notice the strides you’ve recently made to eliminate feeling like you are functioning from any kind of personal deficit,” she writes. “The ripple effect of this kind of internal work helps you to spread your wings with a relaxed ease.” Well there you have it. And, according to Chani, the current astrology only exaggerates your ability to utilize resources with confidence and clarity, which will draw new opportunities to you instantaneously. Lucky you. I’m actually kind of jealous.

Illustration by Cynthia Merhej. 

Emma Bracy

Emma is the Associate Editor at Man Repeller.

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