The Most Concise Milan Fashion Week Reviews on the Internet

Let’s cut to the chase: Unable to master the art of the rispetto over the weekend, I took to reviewing the shows from Milan Fashion Week in another poetic form (the humble haiku). If you’re looking for me, I’ll be the one in upside-down glasses, emerging from my syllabic detox faster than you say Guccio Gucci.

Max Mara

Harling slacked me:
“A good toggle,” slide sixteen.
For N. Pelosi?


What comes after ath-
leisure? Ribbed tights, shoulders wide
as neckties are long.


Boat shoes by Gucci!
Golly. And a dress as long
as my to-do list.

Emilio Pucci

Here is a diptych
of Pete Davidson and me
on a date. Sorry.


Rethink Princess Peach
pink? Or salivate over
yellow satin shoes.


Marie Antoinette’s
hips did not lie, even when
she most certainly—

La DoubleJ

How I hope I look
crossing the street, to check if
Levain opened yet.


Thought I saw you from
across the room, ogling my
woodshop goggles. Wink.


I’d wear this to lie
down in the model bed at
the Ralph Lauren store.


Ooh, patchwork persists
And I must say I’m pleased.
Look at Anna smile.


Please note the flare of
these pants and the impending
rain boot renaissance.

Salvatore Ferragamo

Is Ferragamo
leaning into leggings? I
wondered. Maybe so.


I think I like the
horror movie genre now.
Ghastly! Persuasive!

Bottega Veneta

The grey area
between fringe and tendrils:
A butter-squid coat.


Tuck your pants into
your knee-high boots? Anna Gray
said, “Sure! Fine! Ok!

Jil Sander

Please excuse me for
the declaration: This show
was my favorite.

Photos via Getty Images and Vogue Runway.

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