Let’s cut to the chase: Unable to master the art of the rispetto over the weekend, I took to reviewing the shows from Milan Fashion Week in another poetic form (the humble haiku). If you’re looking for me, I’ll be the one in upside-down glasses, emerging from my syllabic detox faster than you say Guccio Gucci.
Max Mara
Harling slacked me:
“A good toggle,” slide sixteen.
For N. Pelosi?
Prada
What comes after ath-
leisure? Ribbed tights, shoulders wide
as neckties are long.
Gucci
Boat shoes by Gucci!
Golly. And a dress as long
as my to-do list.
Emilio Pucci
Here is a diptych
of Pete Davidson and me
on a date. Sorry.
Fendi
Rethink Princess Peach
pink? Or salivate over
yellow satin shoes.
Moschino
Marie Antoinette’s
hips did not lie, even when
she most certainly—
La DoubleJ
How I hope I look
crossing the street, to check if Levain opened yet.
Tod’s
Thought I saw you from
across the room, ogling my
woodshop goggles. Wink.
Etro
I’d wear this to lie
down in the model bed at
the Ralph Lauren store.
Marni
Ooh, patchwork persists
And I must say I’m pleased.
Look at Anna smile.
Versace
Please note the flare of
these pants and the impending
rain boot renaissance.
Salvatore Ferragamo
Is Ferragamo leaning into leggings? I
wondered. Maybe so.
MSGM
I think I like the
horror movie genre now.
Ghastly! Persuasive!
Bottega Veneta
The grey area
between fringe and tendrils:
A butter-squid coat.
Missoni
Tuck your pants into
your knee-high boots? Anna Gray
said, “Sure! Fine! Ok!”
Jil Sander
Please excuse me for
the declaration: This show
was my favorite.
