Before you do absolutely anything else, you need to find a tube of black liquid eyeliner and lacquer your lid in a thick line, from the very first baby lash closest to your nose all the way out to the corner of your eye, then up into a point like a cat.
Next, you run as fast as you can to your hairdresser with a photo of the Italian actress Monica Vitti and just point, breathless and frantic, to her bangs. They will either oblige or hand you a neck scarf and a velvet headband, in which case, don one or the other immediately.
At the very least, tease your crown.
Now: the gowns. (Actually none of this is very formal but when you are THIS GLAMOROUS, even a raincoat is a red carpet opportunity, and every place is a port to pose.)
The lenses of your sunglasses should be big and round; your pants may pouf or billow, but never sag.
A shawl will come in handy, black and white will feel right and classy, and florals — even ruffled ones — will be anything but cliché.
Polka dots! They’re very important.
If you’re going to lounge, do it in vintage fur or saffron.
If you’re going to lean, use your own head and hand as props.
Most importantly, if you’re walking and sense your outfit is so marvelous that it would be a true shame to not have it captured, stop.
Act a bit surprised.
Pout if you must, squint your cat eyes and have at it.
That’s it. You’re a star in the making already.
Market by Elizabeth Tamkin.