I haven’t had my usual cup of coffee yet today. I don’t think I’ll need one. I woke up this morning to an email announcing the inception of Net-a-Porter’s biannual sale and it was basically like receiving three shots of espresso intravenously through my eyeballs. I’ve been on an adrenaline high ever since.
This sale is approximately 200 pages filled with all the cool stuff you’ve already placed into your imaginary shopping cart over the past six months, except suddenly, it’s 50% off.
You have to move quickly, though — hence my adrenaline rush composed of equal parts excitement and panic. A Net-a-Porter sale is not a normal sale. The discounted items rarely languish. In fact, the best things sell out within minutes. Minutes!
No need to worry, however — I (selflessly) volunteered to wade through all 200 pages this morning so I could deliver a distilled edit of the MOST PRIME loot to your doorstep a.k.a laptop or phone or whatever newfangled device you’re using to read these words that I’m typing free of any caffeination beyond the very real energy spike of a mind-blowing sale. In other words, I did the stressful weeding-out for you so you can have your sale and drink your latte, too:
THE BEST TOPS ON SALE
Including this fantastic polka-dot number, which is very similar to the one featured in today’s foam roller story. It looks like something one of Rachel Green’s pre-Monica BFFs would wear to a luncheon and I am fully obsessed with it.
THE BEST BOTTOMS ON SALE
“Best bottoms” is one of the most fun categories I’ve ever had the pleasure of creating, because apparently I am a 12-year-old boy.
THE BEST DRESSES ON SALE
THE BEST SHOES ON SALE
THE BEST ACCESSORIES ON SALE
Frost yourselves, ppl!!!