It’s crunch time, people.
I don’t mean it’s time to finish the last of your great aunt Suzie’s peanut brittle (although you’re welcome to do that, too), I mean it’s time to decide what you’re wearing on New Year’s Eve.
Maybe you plan to ring in midnight on your couch while wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt (I did precisely that in 2009, 2015, 2016, and have only glowing things to report), in which case you can stop reading now and go back to your brittle.
If, on the other hand, you have plans to dress like human glitter and dance the night away but you’re still in search of the perfect outfit and slowly starting to panic about dropping the disco ball (pun intended), keep reading. I might be able to help.
I spent a good portion of a recent workday scouring Amazon Prime for the various components of a top-notch New Year’s Eve ensemble so I could type the following words with the utmost confidence: Yes, you absolutely can find and purchase a spectacular outfit with a mere 48 hours to spare. Keep scrolling for my suggestions, and don’t forget to pack a granola bar in your clutch.
Dresses rendered in all manner of festive fabrics
You’ll notice a healthy selection of velvet and sparkle in this curated selection of dresses. That’s because if you’re relying on one garment to be the main event of your festive sartorial situation, it should really carry its weight. I think any of the midi-length options above would look great with an oversized cable knit sweater and rhinestone-adorned high heels, if you are in the market for full lewk suggestions. Glitter tights are also a great addition. These are $13.
Going out tops that put the “taup” in top
Of all the opportunities to wear a going out top, New Year’s Eve is probably the most momentous. Regardless of how Out you plan to Go, it’s the only night you get dressed in one year and undressed in the next. I’m particularly partial to this sheer Ganni number because I feel it is important to festoon your chest with at least one bow per New Year’s wish. Making like the Tin Man and coating yourself in head-to-toe shiny is a great alternative, though, if your nipples aren’t into grosgrain.
Earrings made for magpies
We (i.e. all of us) owe a lot to Kirakira for administering a very necessary joy injection to 2017. Wearing earrings stuffed to the brim with cubic zirconias is a great way to give the app exactly what it wants: ample material! I’m all about pretending to be a forgotten duchess by means of earlobe candies, and my nightstand always appreciates the late-night snack when I set them down upon it after collapsing into my down comforter at the end of an evening spent dancing to top 40.
Shoes that keep dancing even when you’re tired
Don’t leave home without your shoes! Seriously, don’t. That would be such a bummer. My #1 tip for choosing shoes for a festive occasion is to ask yourself the following yes or no question: “Do they resemble an exotic bird?” If the answer is affirmative, you have yourself a winner (keep your eyes peeled for colorful plumage and rhinestone wingtips in particular). I would of course be remiss if I didn’t also suggest considering this season’s infamous glitter boot, because if not New Year’s, WHEN?
Bags to christen the whole caboodle
Now, everything is about to come full circle because here are my recommendations for the artist formerly known as bags and temporarily known as granola bar vessels. I’m harping on the granola bar because I really do think that a little transportable protein is the key to a long night out on the town, followed by pizza later on if you really want to do things right. My favorite of the bunch is this literal dazzler of a wristlet, which, in addition to only costing $39.73 despite looking like a million bucks, will also provide you with the hands-free celebration experience you and your granola bar deserve.
Now tell me three things:
1. Do you eyes hurt after witnessing so much collective sheen?
2. What the hippo are you wearing on December 31st?
3. What’s your favorite granola bar? (This is the most important question to answer because I really need recommendations).
Photo by Dave Benett via Getty Images.
