Olsen Astrology: Your MKA Look, According to the Zodiac

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It’s a little on the nose that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are Geminis. Aside from being literal twins, a thread of duality runs through their public personas: They’ve achieved legendary success in two industries; they made careers of reinventing themselves only to launch brand of quality basics insulated from trend pressure; they don’t use social media but are enjoying a well-documented renaissance on Instagram; even their production company is called Dualstar Entertainment.

But they are quintessential Geminis in other ways, too. So, in honor of their birthday, I’ve curated a few Mary-Kate and Ashley moments that reflect the energy of each of the other zodiac signs. Because what even is a Gemini if not everyone else from time to time? Read on to find out which MKA you are, according to the zodiac.

1. Aries

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Gold. Cutouts. Highlights. This is a potent dosage of Aries superhero energy—not least of all because the 2008 Met Gala was superhero-themed. Aries love swooping in and saving the day, and even better if they can wear something tight and sparkly while doing it. Here we have Mary-Kate and Ashley looking like they could scale a building, save a cat, and land a devastatingly witty quip to anyone who might stand in their way.

2. Taurus

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Soft textures. Muted neutrals. Luxe fabric. This picture of the twins seated comfortably in cream and gray cashmere is the essence of Taurus energy. The look is luxury but understated, sensual and tactile. It doesn’t bark for attention, instead communicating a quiet dignity. The zodiac’s bulls are queens, slow moving and graceful. They don’t make haste. And they probably feel no need to get up from their cozy perch to say hi to you.

3. Gemini

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Even for Geminis, this is a Geminian tableau. The camera captures the twins in medias res, smoking, squatting, texting, thinking. Even their bodies seem to be talking to each other. This is the essence of the Gemini, to be perpetually in motion and in conversation. In that constant hum of nervous energy, their duality manifests, because they are always inhabiting multiple points at once. For the Olsens, it’s not just about their twinship but all the haptic energy between them. It takes at least two.

4. Cancer

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Cancers live in a permanent huddle. As the sign of self-preservation, they cultivate a warm and welcoming interior by keeping the rest of the world at bay. The twins are bundled here against colder temperatures and probably the intruding gaze of a curious and devoted public. Their ability to remain opaque (literally, in this case, in all blank ensembles) and on guard is a superpower that comes very naturally to the crabs.

5. Leo

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Behold the drama! One is in leopard print, the other is wearing her like a hair lion’s mane, and both are exhibiting pure hot Leo action. Leos are straightforward in their pursuit of self-love, and they apologize for none of it. You don’t bother with false humility, and you know your worth. It’s all about big hair, cat prints, dark lipstick, and a withering stare. Either run or bow down.

6. Virgo

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Oh, Virgo, you’re so prim and proper. These outfits at the 2014 Met Gala are polished, puritanical, and buttoned up (literally, in Ashley’s case). What I love about the Virgo energy in this picture is that they are in a proud stance, almost defiant, which cuts against the stereotype of Virgos as meek and self-serving. Au contraire, you hard-working virgins serve at the altar of excellence, so you’re very pleased to soak up a limelight well-earned.

7. Libra

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In the same way Geminis represent duality, Libras are all about balance. If you add a little to column A, you’ll want to make sure it’s on par with column B. If you’ve got a gold blazer on one twin, then sure, let’s have a gold pump on the other. Libra energy is all about the difficult ballet of keeping your lives and relationships in perfect harmony. And like ballet, it takes a lot of concentration and sweat but comes off effortless and pretty.

8. Scorpio

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Secretive and hidden, yet powerful. The twins are emanating scorpion vibes in these shades, hiding from the glare of the camera while still impeccably attired. It’s a bit of a misconception that Scorpios eschew attention—they just want it on their terms. With the right outfit—and a talent for stealth—they can traipse about freely while avoiding unnecessary scrutiny. Yeah, they won’t be taking questions this evening.

9. Sagittarius

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These wandering bohemians are layered up and mobilized for adventure. Sagittarians thrive on spontaneity, and they like to be nimble enough to pivot to a new location, climate, or country should the mood (and the means) present themselves. You never know when someone’s going to surprise you with a ticket to Italy — or somewhere you’d be comfortable in a fur coat but no socks. What’s practicality without a little impracticality?

10. Capricorn

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Hello, business twins! Mary-Kate and Ashley dressed in these tailored blazers remind us they are consummate professionals poised to dominate in their industry (industries!) for decades. Empire-building is a Capricornian trait—their instincts lead them to their rightful position atop the food chain. And even the most creative of fields requires some hustle and organization, so Capricorn energy will always have clout in the room. These two could probably get you fired with a look.

11. Aquarius

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Aquarius is the natural fashion rebel of the zodiac, flaunting their eccentricity as armor in a world full of normies. At the Met Gala this year, Mary-Kate and Ashley brought an abundance of black leather to the pink carpet which, depending on one’s interpretation of camp, either satisfied the theme in a unique way or bucked it entirely. Water bearers wants to impress others, but only on their own terms. If people don’t get it, you’ll keep piling on the leather until they do.

12. Pisces

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Our high sartorial priestesses are giving off Piscean vibes in these Comme de Garcon frocks at the 2017 Met Gala. Pisces are ethereal and dreamy with a religious twist, and in these saintly getups, Mary-Kate and Ashley look like they’re next in line for beatification. The abundance of white lace, weighty cross necklace, and serene gaze all contribute to this otherworldly and transcendent outfit. The sign of the fish are anything but literal, so whether you see ghosts, witches, or angels, you’re looking at some Pisces.

Kiki O'Keeffe

Kiki is a writer in Brooklyn. You can sign up for her newsletter, I don't believe in astrology, or follow her Instagram @kiki.okay.

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