My Favorite Secret Single Behaviors, in No Particular Order

It was the one and only Carrie Bradshaw, she of questionable puns and dramatic ellipses fame, who coined the term “Secret Single Behavior” to describe the stuff you relish doing when you are home alone. Carrie’s SSB of choice is eating a stack of saltines spread with grape jelly whilst standing up in her kitchen and reading fashion magazines. Mine is putting on an old, oversized T-shirt (no pants) and filling my online shopping cart with clothes I’ll probably never buy.

Two years ago, Haley asked the readers of Man Repeller to share theirs, and I recently revisited the 150+ comments when I started thinking about “Secret Single Behavior” in the context of Mistakes Month. So many of the things we choose to do alone, whether forgoing pants or a plate to catch saltine crumbs, might seem like lapses in judgment–a flagrant act of self-indulgence, a diversion from more important to-dos, a sticky mess–which is precisely why they’re worth doing. There is no sweeter freedom than entertaining a ridiculous whim for no reason other than the thrill of it.

In honor of that sentiment, please enjoy the below roundup of some of Man Repeller readers’ most-cited Secret Single Behaviors, for which we have created accompanying outfits that you can wear while enacting them–just in case an oversized T-shirt (no pants) (<< can’t stress this enough) isn’t going to cut it.

Taking Dozens of Selfies

If I showed you my camera roll on a given morning, you are likely to witness my preferred form of modern art: dozens of iPhone selfies, taken with very little variation in pretty much the exact same spot while wearing the exact same lime green turtleneck (or whatever!). I would attempt to explain why it’s important that I capture my chin at every angle that exists on an imaginary protractor, but my work is about as original as a single photo plucked from the fleet of nearly identical cousins that encircle it. You get it.

Spending the Entire Day in Home Clothes

Ahhhh, the sweet, sweet delight of wearing your most absurdly comfy clothes in the privacy of your home. No, they don’t go together, and no, they are probably not fit for public consumption, but these realities only add to their appeal. A velour sweatshirt? Sure! Pool slides? Throw ’em on. Shorts so short you can barely see them? HUMMINA HUMMINA. The ultimate celebration of sartorial mistake-making, at your service.

Eating Nutella Straight From the Jar

Is it just me, or does Nutella taste 100000% better when you eat it with a spoon straight from the jar? I mean, I won’t say no to a lovingly prepared Nutella + PB sandwich, but give me an empty jar and a kitchen utensil (honestly a ladle would be fine), and I’m a happy camper. This is prime Secret Single Behavior for germophobes like me who don’t want other people catching onto the fact that just because we are eating out of the Nutella jar with a spoon doesn’t mean that everyone in the vicinity can do so as well. It’s a personal jar, TYSM.

Conducting a Private Dance Party for One

As fun as it is to get low on a dance floor with friends, there is a special thrill to the solo dance-off hosted by you, yourself, and your guiltiest pleasure of a Spotify playlist. You can wiggle your best jiggle free from the scrutiny of potential eye-rolls, well-intentioned or not. You can gyrate like a wind-up toy and body roll like a piece of spaghetti. You can sing out loud even if you don’t know the words. You can put on a shiny pink dress for the occasion, or a fleece onesie, or your birthday suit. It takes two to tango, but it only takes one to party.

Trying on Everything in Your Closet

You know that dangerous trap when you have no idea what to wear and you have no time constraints in which to figure it out!? It’s dangerous because it means you can try on as many outfits as you please without the nagging worry that you have to decide somewhat soon or else you’ll be late. It’s dangerous because after a while what used to be your bed or your floor has now become a rainbow of garments that will have to be folded later by your alter ego Tiffany, but you can think about that later! Because the time is now, not then, and now you’re wearing nothing but underwear and high-heels and it feels just right.

Giving Marie Kondo a Run for Her Joy

I’ll confess: Rampant organization is very far from my Secret Single Behavior of choice, but oh how I wish that was not the case. Imagine if my greatest solo indulgence was tidying! Imagine! I know it’s possible, because such is the case for a few of my beloved friends who feel more like enemies when they recount their passionate affairs with Mrs. Meyer’s and a sponge, or the satisfaction of their eternal longing to empty a fruit bowl and organize its contents in the order of a Fibonacci sequence. To each her own–but I’ll still take the sheer pink hat and monochrome orange ‘fit.

Now that we’re all in the mood, let’s do this one more time: What’s your Secret Single Behavior these days? Bonus points if you share what you wear while doing it.

Stylist / Director: Monica Morales
Photographer: Daniel Nadel at DLM
Videographer: Gemma De Maria at Chic Model Management 
Makeup: Claire Thompson
Hair: Kyye Reed at Work Agency
Talent: Agi Akur at IMG
Photographer Assistant: Seok-Ho Yoon
Stylist Assistant: Gemma Brookes

Harling Ross

Harling is a writer and was most recently the Brand Director at Man Repeller.

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