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Selena Gomez and The Weeknd Sitting in a Tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

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Selena Gomez and Bella Hadid are are reportedly beefing harder than a stale Chipotle burrito, which wouldn’t really be that big of a deal except for the fact that they are both card-carrying members of Taylor Swift’s squad, thus jeopardizing the artful curation of her Fourth of July party guest list.

It all started when Selena was photographed smooching Bella’s ex-boyfriend The Weeknd, nee Abel Tesfaye.

In the photos obtained by Us Weekly on January 10th, Selena and The Weeknd can be seen engaging in the following couple-y activities:

  • Neck nuzzling
  • Cheek pecking
  • “Giddily locking lips” (Us Weekly’s terrible words — not mine)
  • Staring dreamily into the distance and pretending not to think about the potential sexual hurdles of eating too much gnocchi with meat sauce
  • Stretching out their arms and pretending to be Rose and Jack at the hull of the Titanic (just kidding)

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Screenshots published on Elle.com indicate that Bella unfollowed Selena’s Instagram account sometime between the hours of 1:30 P.M. and 3:37 P.M. on January 11th, though she continues to follow The Weeknd.

This evidence inspires a whole host of questions, first and foremost being: does Elle.com have a staff member devoted to monitoring celebrity Instagram accounts mid-feud, and if so, can we please get coffee sometime? Second: Is unfollowing a former friend on Instagram the 2017 equivalent of throwing your half of a BFF necklace into the gutter?

Regardless, the plot of this brouhaha is already more intricate than an episode of Westworld, and the true fan sleuthing has only just begun. Teen Vogue reports: “Aside from reliving the moment [Selena and The Weeknd] shared the catwalk at the 2015 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show performance — while The Weeknd was still dating Bella Hadid…fans are looking closely for references within their music.”

In the song “Party Monster” from The Weeknd’s latest album Starboy, he sings about “an ass shaped like Selena,” which might be referring to the rear end of iconic singer Selena Quintanilla-Pérez, or — you know — might not. If it is in fact a shout-out to Ms. Gomez, I applaud it. My boyfriend won’t even write me a song about my kneecaps despite thrice-weekly requests.

Gigi, Kendall, Lena, Lorde, Cara, Karlie, Blake, Uzo, Ryan (Reynolds) and the rest of Taylor Swift’s squad members are waiting patiently for damage control instructions from the Queen Mother, most likely involving homemade baked goods and vintage nightgowns. TMZ published a photo of Taylor leaving the gym yesterday along with the headline, “LEADER OF THE PACK Works Out Squad Drama.” It was purposefully misleading (non-clickbait translation: Works Out Amidst Squad Drama), but I still think the whole world is basically on the same page on how this bad blood (no Taylor Swift pun intended) needs to be resolved.

Photo by Kevin Kane/FilmMagic via Getty Images. 

Harling Ross

Harling is a writer and was most recently the Brand Director at Man Repeller.

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