Kindergarten Hair Is Back!!!

Remember those awful children who wouldn’t let that hungry rabbit eat Trix cereal? I doubt they were looking out for his health; I had a rabbit (Blue) and of the things she chewed (unplugged electrical cords, my hair), sugary cereal was hardly the worst. I think those kids were selfish and greedy — quintessential TV bullies who wanted the snack all for themselves. Why couldn’t they just let the rabbit have one bite?

I didn’t know I was holding on to this anger, however, until MR Market Assistant Elizabeth Tamkin pitched a story around hair decorations — “You know, bows and novelty clips and headbands and barrettes,” she said. And then I had a flashback:

FADE IN: A 25-year-old me, standing in front of my bedroom mirror, a barrette in my hair.

Me: [Has a barrette in hair.] I look nice.

Devil me: That barrette is cool in theory, but you look like a child. Silly adult; CLIPS ARE FOR KIDS. Take it out!

Me: [Sobs. Removes hair accessory. Exists in state of style defeat for rest of day.]


Well! Now that I’m older and wiser, with a whole streak of gray hair down the left side of my head, I would like to take back my retort and blame such judgment on a cereal commercial’s subliminal messaging that colorful sweet stuff is meant exclusively for youths. Damn the man! Hair decorations, in all their clamp-y, claw-y, Solange-inspired glory, are for anyone, at any age, who wants to add a little sunshine to their day.

Behold the slideshow above for proof: Scrunchies are back (you knew that), so layer them up the wazoo to declare your truth. Puffy headbands are still a standout — red in particular helps an outfit shout; barrettes make sweeping statements (as in, they sweep your hair off your face); combs sink their teeth into your overall “look”; and clips of all kinds clamp onto your wildest hair dreams and promise to never let go, Jack. (Then actually don’t.)

The best part is that all these trinkets exist in a range and work, depending on your natural styling habits, for the most bare-bones minimalist to the absolute maximalist. Certainly they work for the silliest of rabbits.   

And kids, I guess. So long as they promise to share.

Styled and market by Elizabeth Tamkin; Photos by Louisiana Mei Gelpi. Kule x Prinkshop 1973 striped shirts worn throughout.

Amelia Diamond

Amelia Diamond

Amelia Diamond is a writer, creative consultant, and Man Repeller alumnus living in New York City.

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