I Wrote You a Summer To-Do List (Now Get the Fuck Outside!)

I know it’s already July, but “Make Summer To-Do List” was at the top of my list all June long and I just never got around to it, to be honest.

1. Throw out any to-do lists that precede this one because if that stuff’s not done yet and the world didn’t end then it’s clearly not the end of the world.

2. Oh! But do finally send out all of those thank-you cards.(Except tone the glitter and the ideas of grandeur down to a level four. Thank yous are appreciated no matter the card stock and confetti.)

3. Get vitamin D levels up.

4. Become one of those people who goes for after-dinner walks.

5. Increase my ice cream/non-dairy frozen, sugar alternative to at least once a week — not including weekends.

6. Perfect the weekday drink order.

7. Memorize all the words to a song of the summer so that I can blow all the motherfuckers standing around in a wedding circle out of the water.

8. Carry on the tradition of packing way too last-minute and almost missing every single train/plane/ferry ever.

9. Find The Shorts. The ones that are the only ones that matter until it gets too cold to wear them.

10.  Stop telling people, “I’m smelly.” They know, you know. And they smell, too. Let’s all carry on like flying birds.

11. Drink more margaritas in general.

12. To that, eat more chips and assume that guacamole is a given, like brushing your teeth in the mornings.

13. Wear bikinis instead of bras and designate entire days to exist without underwear.

14. Read a book. Just one! About anything that I enjoy and not that I feel like I “should” read. More than that is a bonus.

15. Leave my phone at home as often as I can.

16. Get really good at cutting up the following: watermelon, pineapple, kiwi, dance floors.

17. Wear sunscreen.

18. Try hard to not lose any sunglasses but also not be too upset when I inevitably lose my favorite pair.

19. Get back into napping.

20. Wake up every single morning by reminding myself — without countdown or agenda in sight — “it’s summer.”

Photos by Louisiana Mei Gelpi.

Amelia Diamond

Amelia Diamond

Amelia Diamond is a writer, creative consultant, and Man Repeller alumnus living in New York City.

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