Last night Taylor Swift and ZAYN — all caps please and thanks — dropped their music video for “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever,” a track they wrote for 50 Shades Darker, the next installment in the highly acclaimed movie franchise that’s all about female empowerment. Right? I haven’t seen it but that’s what I’ve heard. Anyway, this v sexy and seemingly unrelated video, which surely quenched the world’s T Swift thirst including mine, is weird. I had to look up the lyrics like it was 1999 because I was so confused. Please watch and let me know your thoughts on the below Qs:
1. What does ZAYN’s fame have to do with the plot?
The vid starts out with him walking into a restaurant through a million paparazzi and appearing very melancholy about his fame. This ultimately has no bearing on the rest of the plot. Why?!
2. Why do both of them sing while barely moving their mouths?
ZAYN lip-syncing “I feel crazy” over and over while appearing to be trapped in a particularly long lecture on the history of boredom had me lol’ing. Are we supposed to think they are speaking the words? Thinking them? Surely not singing them, as their mouths are scarcely moving.
3. Why does Taylor Swift’s bra have to be “accidentally showing” 100% of the time?
I’m all about the sexy jacket tugged off the shoulder, but it’s sexily tugged off the entire time, thereby appearing to not be a product of her being disheveled but instead a direct order from some creepy director who thought she didn’t look sexy enough otherwise.
4. Does T Swift always pour her champagne from a foot above the glass?
Real question. I really admire how blasé she appeared while doing this. Gonna try.
5. How does ZAYN throw shit at the wall and yet somehow still look bored?
This is actually comical. I especially liked when he sort of casually pushed a lamp off a table the way a bored cat might knock over a glass.
6. Why is Tay writhing on a bed angrily?
One second she’s laying near a bed at a party, the next minute everyone’s gone and she’s on the bed half thrashing in anger, half having sex with an invisible person. It’s so confusing. All signs point back to creepy director.
7. What would happen if ZAYN kissed Taylor’s glittery lips?
Her lips look like they were dipped in glitter, which I very much support, but which also begs the question: what will happen when they reunite? Can you imagine ZAYN’s disinterested glitterly lewk post-kiss?
8. Does Zayn have emotions?
Can’t stress enough how little emotion ZAYN portrays for a song ostensibly about how intensely emotional he feels. Pls no one put him in a movie. I beg.
If anyone out there has answers, I’d deeply appreciate your guidance.
Photo via Getty Images.