Destroying the Myth of the Perfect Woman (and Then Becoming Perfect), With Glennon Doyle

Welcome back friends! It is another Tuesday on this big blue beautiful marble called earth and you know what that means….another brand new episode of The Call! This week, host Erica Williams Simon sits down with author of the New York Times Bestselling (and Oprah’s Book Club pick) Love Warrior and outspoken activist Glennon Doyle. Together they talk about the not being afraid to drastically recreate your life when it’s right for you (wait until you hear how seriously she did the “recreate” thing…), the balancing act of sharing your true self without tipping into depreciation, and how to completely redefine the idea of the perfect woman.

Glennon talks with Erica about overcoming alcoholism and eating disorders in her teens and twenties. She realized she was chasing after this idea of the ideal person she was trying to be and how for years, well into her first marriage, the failure to be perfect haunted her.

“You have this idea in your head of what a perfect woman looks like,” says Glennon. “And basically she’s like, really shiny and not anxious all the time, and didn’t get depressed, and she had really great relationships that were all super full and she didn’t stress about money, and she was never, like, bloated, or oily, or whatever.”

For a while, she tried to become that person. “I was just imitating her. So I wasn’t being fully human. I was imitating this ghost of a perfect woman.” Then she learned to flip the idea on its head.

Thanks to her huge fan base that she built as a tell-it-like-it-is writer and mommy blogger,
Glennon started a non-profit, Together Rising, which helps organize charitable giving to help women and children in crisis. Over time, through that work and her own political wake up call, Glennon’s began to use her voice more and more to talk about social change, social justice and yes, even race. Erica and Glennon talk about political engagement, holding your people accountable and the benefits of therapy. In particular, they discuss how in recent years women seem to be a bittttttttt more angry than before and how like, yeah duh, there’s plenty to be angry about.

“Women will come to me at my events now, and they’ll raise their hand and they’ll say, ‘Glennon, I’m so angry. What’s wrong with me?’ Over and over again I look at them and say, ‘There’s only two types of women I respect in the world right now. Angry ones, or ones who are in an active coma.’ If you’re not angry, you better just have been waking up from like a Rip Van Winkle long sleep, right? You’re angry not because there’s something wrong with you, but because there’s something wrong in the world that you– embrace that anger! We need more angry women. Your anger is pointing you toward the thing in the world that you’re meant to change.”

Give it a listen if you feel afraid of change, frustrated, sad, happy, ALL OF IT. Erica and Glennon will give you space and encouragement to feel everything you need to feel.

Illustration by Anne Bentley

Nora Taylor

Nora Taylor

Nora Taylor is the Editor of Clever. She can frequently be found knocking things over in the greater New York City area.

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