I try to be grateful for what I have, I do! But when I identify something I love, like movies about female street fighters, and then notice how little of it exists today, I struggle to not want more. But maybe that’s a good thing. As a female writer with a platform, maybe it’s my responsibility to further my gender’s cause and champion the future I think we deserve. After giving it some thought, I’ve documented below what I hope that future has a whole lot more of, because if I don’t fight for it, who will?
All-female reboots
When I saw the Ghostbusters all-female reboot I was born anew. A men’s story? Now told with women? I’ve never felt more alive, fulfilled and seen. More, please.
Ideas on how to lose weight in 10 days
What if my boyfriend proposes to me tomorrow and we decide to get married next week? That’s what I call a SKINNY EMERGENCY. And yet, not one magazine — online or paper — seems to appreciate this all-too-common pickle. What’s the point in getting married if I’m not going to use it as an opportunity to disappear as much as possible??
Skincare routine ideas
The thing is, I want to take care of my skin, but I just don’t know how. Do people apply more than one thing? Do they do it in a particular order? I’m at a total loss, and I need ideas, ideally from women who have naturally flawless skin.
Empowerment by way of butt selfies
Once I learned that Empowerment ought to be my central focus as a person with a vagina, I knew there was only one way to get it: gorgeous, evenly-lit, well-framed cell phone photos of my butt, posted to Instagram, so others could see my butt, be inspired to make their butt look as good as mine through diet and exercise, and then post photos of their butts, thus cementing our generation as the one that subverted the burden of being objectified by objectifying ourselves. Now that’s powerful.
Healing crystals, generally
We’re living through a depression and anxiety epidemic and it’s crippling us. The only thing that will get us out of it is education, compassion and activ– I mean, expensive stones and gems.
“No-makeup makeup” tutorials
I don’t know about you, but I’m stumped on how to look pretty (good) without looking like I’m wearing makeup (bad). I can’t be the only one who wants to achieve this modern and progressive feat. When I Google it, there are zero results. What gives?
Songs by men about our self-esteem
I used to think my low self-esteem was a toxic and debilitating symptom of the patriarchy, but once I heard “What Makes You Beautiful” by One Direction, I realized it was actually the most breathtaking thing about me. More of these songs!
Girl squads
I thought my life was full until I learned I hadn’t achieved the peak of feminine existence: being a beautiful and admired member of an exclusive group of girls. Now I don’t even know what I was doing before. Hanging out with one or two friends? My family? If there were more girl squads out there, I wouldn’t feel this way, and I’d have a better chance of knowing whether or not I was worthy of friendship.
Think pieces about Taylor Swift
Speaking of which, why doesn’t anyone else seem to appreciate that Taylor Swift, as a celebrity figure, is an interesting lens through which to view women, feminism, pop culture and identity politics besides me? I have so many thoughts, and I’m desperate to know what people think. Where the hell am I supposed to have these discussions?
Photoshopping apps
Whenever I take a selfie and am not pleased with the result, which happens all the time, I used to upload it to my computer and spend upwards of two hours making my eyes bigger (cute), patching out my spots (disgusting) and liquifying my lower cheeks into non-existence (hot). Now, thank god, I do it on my phone, but still, the apps just don’t compare to the real thing and I could look better, tbh. Who will step up and fix this?
Simple-to-follow recipes
For so long, I figured I wasn’t cooking as much as I’d like because I was working long hours and was low on time and energy as a result. If only I’d known there existed, out in the world, recipes that took one trip to the grocery story, 30 minutes of prep and simple-to-follow instructions. I’d always assumed cooking took hours of blood, sweat and tears? Now that I know better, I’m livid there aren’t more simple recipe ideas out there for working women like myself.
Waist-trainers
When I found out most women have double the number of internal organs than is aesthetically ideal, I panicked. I found relief in purchasing a waist-trainer that shut off my internal dialogue of self-rib-hatred (and air supply, but small price). The fact that only a few brands are making these life-saving/threatening garments is a gross injustice. World: Help me help women (breathe less).
Wide brim hats that say “vacation”
How are people supposed to know I’m having a really great time, am very relaxed, on a beach and don’t have a care in the world? The lack of wide brim hats that communicate this sentiment is a travesty.
What’d I miss? Help me build a world we’ll all want to be a part of.
Image by Found Image Holdings/Corbis via Getty Images.
