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Your Ideal Friendship, According to the Zodiac

Collages by Maria Jia Ling Pitt

I don’t live my life according to the stars, or even blame stuff on retrograde, but I’m a sucker for a personality test. Astrology readings provide a similar dopamine hit. I read Amelia’s horoscopes every month for that very reason (and also because I know she writes them after a glass of wine). It’s fun to imagine our personalities are defined right from the start, and that the moon and stars are all somehow involved. Might our sun signs also indicate what kind of friends we are? I decided to take it upon myself, astrology novice that I am, to find out. It is friendship month after all. After a fair amount of internet research, my conclusion is….I have no idea. But I’ve translated my very scientific learnings below, so you can tell me if I nailed you down.


Aries

Your friendship personality: You’re the kid who made friends wherever you went, but you do not cling. Rather, you’re clinged to. You tend to have friends who kind of follow you around and look up to you. It’s sweet, but you don’t necessarily return the sentiment. That’s not to say you’re not supportive and loyal! You can give a lot when you’re in the mood.

Your biggest friend problem: You can get offended easily.

Your TV friend identity: Cookie from Empire

You’re friendly w/: Gemini, Aquarius, Leo and Sagittarius


Taurus

Your friendship personality: You’re one of those people who has friends from when you were, like, five. And they actually know what’s going on in your life. You’ve probably referred to one of your friend groups as “the fam” before. You’re a good advice-giver because you really care and take your friendships seriously. What an angel. You mean it when you call someone “best.”

Your biggest friend problem: You can get possessive, maybe even jealous, and read into stuff too much.

Your TV friend identity: Monica Geller from Friends

You’re friendly w/: Pisces, Cancer, Virgo and Capricorn


Gemini

Your friendship personality: You were probably popular in high school, but not clique popular, just genuinely well-liked. You maintain friend groups from different walks of life. On birthdays you probably stress over combining friends. You’re a social butterfly and a good listener and people want to be around you because you’re funny.

Your biggest friend problem: Your friendships don’t necessarily go deep, unless you connect with someone on a crazy intellectual level. Then they’re in.

Your TV friend identity: Shoshanna Shapiro from Girls

You’re friendly w/: Aries, Leo, Libra, Aquarius


Cancer

Your friendship personality: You’ve definitely complained about it being hard to make friends as an adult, but you also don’t really do anything about it. You prefer the friendships that just kind of…HAPPEN. Unfortunately, that’s rare for you, because you’re extremely selective. Once you do find your peeps, you’re loyal and supportive and helpful. People come to you for advice; you calm their worries, etc. It’s sweet.

Your biggest friend problem: If someone betrays you, you don’t forgive easily.

Your TV friend identity: Hannah Horvath from Girls

You’re friendly w/: Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, Pisces


Leo

Your friendship personality: You don’t cast your net wide so much as deep. This is in part because you love to be surrounded by very, very close friends, but also because of your ego. You like to be the center of attention and not be outshone, which you’d never admit. There are good sides to this, though: You tend to bring people together, and you’re generous! You like, plan trips and stuff.

Your biggest friend problem: You need to be appreciated for all you do. If you’re not, bitterness builds.

Your TV friend identity: Samantha Jones from Sex and the City

You’re friendly w/: Gemini, Libra, Aries, Sagittarius


Virgo

Your friendship personality: You were definitely a shy kid. Once you make friends, you prefer to stick with them through thick and thin because the thought of making new ones makes you want to take a nap. You prefer to have a best friend who is more showy than you, because it takes the pressure off. You’re great in a crisis, btw, and your friends rely on you.

Your biggest friend problem: You’re self-conscious and are sensitive to friends embarrassing you or making that worse.

Your TV friend identity: Miranda Hobbes from Sex and the City

You’re friendly w/: Cancer, Scorpio, Taurus, Capricorn


Libra

Your friendship personality: You have a lot of friends and love to be surrounded by them. You’re social and a good communicator and prob enjoy going out with big groups. You friends come to you for straightforward advice; you’re good at weighing pros and cons. When you’re getting ready for an event with friends, they come to you for approval because you have gr8 taste.

Your biggest friend problem: You get lonely easily, and that can make you a little needy.

Your TV friend identity: Serena van der Woodsen from Gossip Girl

You’re friendly w/: Leo, Saggitarius, Gemini, Aquarius


Scorpio

Your friendship personality: You tend to nurture a few close friends rather than a big crew. You’re the wise friend — people come to you with their trickiest problems — and you always offer solid guidance. You’re also good at organizing people; even though your circle is small, you tend to sort of lead it.

Your biggest friend problem: You have def made enemies out of past friends who wronged you.

Your TV friend identity: Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl

You’re friendly w/: Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, Pisces


Sagittarius

Your friendship personality: You’re easy to be friends with: considerate, charming, cooperative. You have a lot of friends as a result. The thought of going new places doesn’t make you that nervous because you’re pretty confident in social situations. Your friends are comfortable inviting you on trips and stuff because you’re a safe bet.

Your biggest friend problem: You’re a little non-committal and easily bored by people.

Your TV friend identity: Poussey from Orange is the New Black

You’re friendly w/: Libra, Aquarius, Aries, Leo


Capricorn

Your friendship personality: The idea of friendship is very important to you. You want stable, long friendships, and you approach them with a sort of objective devotion. You try to give good advice and care for your friends because you think that’s important. You want them to come to you. And you’re very loyal, too. It’s nice to be friends with you.

Your biggest friend problem: You can be a little secretive and withdrawn and can write people off if betrayed.

Your TV friend identity: Hermione Granger from Harry Potter

You’re friendly w/: Scorpio, Pisces, Taurus, Virgo


Aquarius

Your friendship personality: You’re friends with so many people you borderline can’t keep track. You love having a lot of social options at any given time, and you’re a little wary of getting too attached because that makes you feel claustrophobic. Pls, no needy friends. Your weakness, though, is people you come across that can get on your level intellectually — then you’re hooked.

Your biggest friend problem: You value your freedom over people, which can make you come off unattached.

Your TV friend identity: Ilana Wexler from Broad City

You’re friendly w/: Sagittarius, Aries, Gemini, Libra


Pisces 

Your friendship personality: You somehow seem to attract friends who need you. They’re either in trouble or suffering and, lucky for them, you’re great in a bind. You listen well, speak thoughtfully and are just overall helpful. This kind of dynamic is common in your friendships. Maybe too common?

Your biggest friend problem: You can neglect to care for yourself in your friendships.

Your TV friend identity: Jane from Jane the Virgin

You’re friendly w/: Capricorn, Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio

Haley Nahman

Haley Nahman

Haley Nahman is the Features Director at Man Repeller.

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